The Orange Star High School Massacre
by EvilGohan666
Summary: Gohan just started his first day at Orange Star High School. Unfortunately, he just can't seem to fit in. Pressured by bullying, harassment, girl troubles etc, Gohan begins to question himself. Pushed to the edge, will Gohan finally snap and punish the school who made him suffer? This is a tale of tragedy, heartbreak, and angst as we explore a dark tale with Earth's strongest hero.
1. Time to Get Ready, My First Day Begins!

Welcome, readers of fanfiction dot net. This is my first every story on here, and I'm quite proud of it. In this fanfiction we will exploring a darker tale about Gohan and his experiences at school. There will be major themes of bullying, depression, suicide, and murder. This story will contain a lot of homophobic and occasional racial slurs. If that's not your cup of tea, sorry! With all of that said, please enjoy the story and leave a review letting me know what you think and what can be improved.

The morning air drew a cold breeze through Gohan's window, sending a light chill up his spine. He was already awake, having been up for over an hour now. His nerves made it so he didn't even need the alarm clock. It read 6:58 AM, time seemed to be going faster than he preferred as he stared at the numbers. If he had it his way, he would just stay sleeping as long as he possibly could, but he knew his mother would come screaming at him if he even tried. He rolled to his side, sighing and stretching his arms. "My first day of high school... I can't believe this is happening!" Gohan thought to himself. "I've never been to school before." He was jolted as the alarm began to screech, signaling the start of his day. "Well, better get ready then." He yawned, as he got up and headed for the shower.

...

"Gohan! _**GOHAN!**_ " Chi-chi roars from the kitchen.

"Gohan, you better get your butt down here! I don't want you being late on your first day of school!" She yelled, multiple plates in her hand. Rice cakes, omelets, fish, fruits. She sets a plate down for Goten, who digs in immediately. She sets up the table with ferocity, moving so fast even Goten can't keep up with her speed. After she's done, she prepares a lunch for Gohan to have at school. Chi-chi's face gets red with anger as there's still no response from Gohan.

"Gohan, I swear to _god_ if you don't get your ass down here, I'm going to let Goten fuck around with your anime figurines."

"Yippee!" Goten chirps, a bit of rice flying out of his mouth.

"Mom, chill, I'm trying to figure out which Jordans match best with my school uniform."

Gohan examines himself in the mirror and frustratingly stomps his foot.

"God damnit," he clenches his fist. "I want to wear my Super Mario Bros Air Jordans, but everyone at school might think I'm a nerd... gaming is cool, isn't it?" He ponders, but gives up, and angrily yells at the mirror. "Fuck this! I'm gonna be late." Gohan grabs his backpack and puts on his Super Mario Bro Jordans anyways, and heads to the kitchen.

"Finally! Were you jacking off in there, christ!" Chi-chi rolls her eyes, pulling up a chair for her son.

"Huh?" Goten scratches his head, turning around towards Gohan. "I thought you were on no fap you pussy!"

"I wasn't jacking off!" Gohan snaps, passive aggressively sitting down. "God, do you guys have to give me shit on my first day of school?" He folds his arms in a tantrum.

"Just hurry up and eat your bitch ass breakfast, you only have 20 minutes before school starts." says Chi-chi, as she begins washing the pans.

"Really bro, you're gonna wear _those_ to school?" Goten stifles in laughter. "I'm like half your age and even I know that's gay."

"Shut up Goten, you wouldn't know shit about teen fashion trends. Gaming attire is IN." Gohan sticks his tongue out at him.

"Right. Well let me know how that goes!" Goten giggles, and hops off the table. "Mind if I use the Xbox while you're gone? I need my daily dose of Call of Duty or I feel like I'm going murder a small town."

"Sure, but just cool it with the racial slurs in voice chat, alright? We got a warning already, and I don't want ANOTHER console ban." Gohan mumbles with his mouth half full.

Goten waves his hand, "Well, you know me... but I'll try!" He giggles, and runs to Gohan's room.

Gohan devours the rest of his plate, and belches loudly, rubbing his stomach contentedly.

"Damn, mom. Who needs a wife when I got you!" He chuckles, and gives his mom a gentle hug.

"...what?" Chi-chi says with a creeped out expression on her face. " _My god, this kid needs friends,_ " she thinks to herself.

"Here Gohan, I packed your lunch, don't forget to eat this, alright? You need that brain power so you can focus properly in class!" Chi-chi hands him a pretty gay looking lunchbox.

"What the fuck is this?" Gohan says with disgust. "Cars 3? Isn't this Goten's lunchbox?"

Chi-chi shrugs. "I don't know. It could've been yours too, you like all that kid shit."

Gohan panickedly grabs Chi-chi's shoulders. "Mom, I'm going to HIGH SCHOOL, not fucking pre-school. Why the **fuck** would that be my lunchbox?"

Chi-chi shoves him off, and goes back to scrubbing the dishes. "Listen kid, we don't have any other lunchboxes, so just suck it up and use it for now!" She roars. "Now get out and go to school. You have 10 minutes or you'll be tardy! And I don't want to see any tardies, or that Xbox is mine, got it?"

Gohan rolls his eyes, and begrudgingly takes the Cars 3 lunchbox. "This is bullshit," he mumbles under his breath, making sure to slam the door on the way out.

Gohan angrily bolts through the air, flying as fast as a small airplane, the wind brushing his gel slicked hair. Despite having a bad start this morning, he hopes he'll have a good first day, and that his classmates will accept him even though he has a childish lunchbox. Unfortunately, he hasn't felt this nervous since his fight with Cell all those years ago. He's been isolated for so long, he's never had a normal human friend before, especially not one his age. Gohan hoped for the best as he landed in some nearby bushes. He nervously walked the rest of the way towards the school, Orange Star High School. His first day had officially begun...


	2. The Troubling First Day

Students flocked the courtyard of Orange Star High, mingling and chatting about. There seemed to be an even mixture of girls and boys, and everyone seemed to be in their own group. Gohan gulped down anxiety as he walked through, getting stared at by almost every person he passed. They were whispering to themselves, wondering who this mysterious new guy was, with his Super Mario Bro Air Jordans. Luckily for him, he put his Cars 3 lunchbox in his backpack, but he knew he'd probably have to eat lunch alone today.

Gohan made his way inside of the school and into the main office. There was an old lady sitting on a small desk across from him, nearly falling asleep as she wrote down on the paper in front of her.

"Um, excuse." Gohan muttered with a soft, anxious tone. "I'm Gohan, it's my first day here." He scratched the back of his head, smiling nervously at the old woman. The old hag glanced up at him and stared for a few moments.

"Special ed is on the 3rd floor. Let me go call a helper to pick you up." She reached for the telephone next to her.

"What? N-no, I'm not a special needs student," Gohan looked around to make sure nobody else heard that. "G-o-h-a-n, can you just look that up real quick? I just need to find out where my class is."

Granny began typing on the computer, with her 3 WPM type speed. "Ah, yes, Gohan. 2nd floor, class 9-B."

"Thanks!" Gohan headed out to the big staircase in the middle of the hall. "Well, this is it." He whispered to himself. As he began walking, his anxiety levels increased, he could feel his palms sweating. He tried using some of the deep breathing exercises he found from r/anxiety to calm himself down. As he got to the door, he took a moment to psyche himself up.

"Alright, just chill. You're fine. You showered, you're in shape, you're wearing sick kicks. I'll be fine. I'm Gohan, I killed fucking Cell, I got this." Gohan exhaled deeply, then opened the classroom door.

"And that, teens, is basically all you need to know about anal se- hm?" Mr. Punani, Orange Star High's freshman homeroom teacher, stops to look at the door. "Well, well, you must be that new student! Welcome, you're just in time for our first lesson. Did you bring your copy of Teen Vogue?"

"Um, y-yes sir, I didn't forget." Gohan replied. He was burning red as he felt all the eyes of the class stare at him.

"Well, it's nice to have you here, son. What's your name?" Mr. Punani asks, putting his hand on Gohan's shoulder, rubbing it softly. Almost a little too softly.

"My name, um... It's-It's Gohan." He looked down at his feet, he could feel his anxiety getting the better of him. He forecfully looked back up at the faces of the class. "It's nice to meet you all..." He muttered with slight hesitation.

"Ah, yes, Gohan! You're the foreigner kid, that's right. Where do you come from, Gohan?" Mr. Punani asks with a warm smile.

"Foreign kid? What are they talking about?" Gohan looked around the room awkwardly, not sure what to say. "Uh... um... I'm from... uh," he looks around the room frantically, his heart racing. "Iraq?" He blurts out. "Wait what the fuck? Why did I say Iraq!?" Gohan panicked internally as the class and Mr. Punani look at him with confusion.

"Iraq, huh?" Mr. Punani scratches his head, examining Gohan a little more closely. "You certainly don't look like a sand person. But if that's where you say you're from, I'll have to take your word for it!"

"Um, Mr. Punani?" One of the girls in the midrow raises her hand, staring at Gohan a little fearfully. "Are you sure he's not, like, an ISIS member or something? I'm all for multiculturalism, but I really don't want to be one of those people who ends up dead from a random terrorist attack."

"Now, now, Erasa, you're making Gohan feel unwelcome. We perform background checks on all our students, and Gohan is NOT a terrorist." He strokes his long, furry mustache. "Matter a fact, Gohan, why don't you go take a seat next to Erasa there, and show her how much of a normal person you are."

Gohan sighs, and walks toward his new desk.

"Oh god, I should've kept my mouth shut." Erasa groans, inching away from Gohan's seat.

Gohan sits down beside her and greets her with a shy smile. Erasa glares back at him in return and crosses her legs in discomfort.

"I'm keeping my eye on you, Gohan," she whispers coldly. "Any weird Arabic phrases and I won't hesitate to mace your sandy ass." She flashes him a fresh bottle of mace from her purse.

"Look, I'm not from Iraq alright, I was just-" Gohan is interrupted.

"Now that's enough you two, you can chit after we learn about safe anal sex. Now open your Teen Vogues!" Mr. Punani shouts from the front of class. Everyone groans as they pull out their shitty magazines.

...

Another failure, Gohan thought. His first day really wasn't going how he planned at all. Now everyone thinks he's from Iraq, it'll be a pain to try and get himself out of that one. He sighed as he waited patiently for the class to end, any second now. He had to figure out a way to impress everyone. Of course he couldn't show everyone his Saiyan powers, doing so would get Chi-chi hotter than Bulma nude sunbathing on her private yacht. Gohan got a slight hard on as he pictured that in his mind.

It was finally lunch time. The bell rang and swarms of students began exiting the classroom, and into the cafeteria. Gohan had to find a private place to eat so none of his classmates saw his kiddie lunchbox. He waited patiently for the halls to empty, and tried to sneak outside real quick. As he turned the corner of the hallway, a big tall, muscular jock who looked like Abigail from Street Fighter V bumped into him.

"Yo, are you Gohan?" The roided freak asked.

"Uh, yeah?" Gohan looked up at him. He noticed a hall monitor badge on his belt.

"So you speak English, huh? Well, I just wanted to let you know that your shoes look fucking stupid and if you wear that shit here again I might beat you up and rob you." He stared down at Gohan, veins throbbing in his weird looking head. "And also, you can't be roaming around here like some loser. Let me guide you to the cafeteria."

"A-alright..." Gohan looked down at his shoes sadly. Goten was right, I knew I shouldn't have worn these. What was I thinking? On top of that, Gohan now had to go to lunch. His heart was beating through his chest as he stood alone in the middle of the cafeteria, not sure where to sit.

"Hey, Gohan!" He turned his attention to a table in the middle of the room. A muscular jock-looking guy with long hair and a hat beckoned over to him. "Come sit over here." He had a sheepish grin on his face.

For a brief moment, Gohan felt happy, someone actually invited him over to sit with them.

"H-hey everyone." Gohan greeted shyly. Besides the long haired jock, there were 2 other boys, a girl, and Erasa sitting at the table.

"Gohan, isn't it? My name is Sharpner." The long haired jock nodded. "Sit next to me, bro. Dope kicks." He gives him a sheepish grin.

"Heh, thanks. I won them off a Twitter raffle." Gohan says proudly.

"Wow, you're a real hotshot. So you play a lot of video games?" Sharpner asks him.

"I mean I wouldn't call myself a gamer, but I play for about 6-12 hours a day depending on how much my mom drinks." Gohan leans toward Sharpner. "She's a widow."

"You sound like you have it rough Gohan, it must be hard being a Syrian immigrant."

"Oh, I'm not from Iraq. I just got kind of nervous... I'm actually from here, and I'm half Japanese half Sai-" Gohan quickly covered his mouth. "Uh.. Syrian. Half Syrian." God dammit I did it again.

The whole group giggles to themselves.

"You're a nervous wreck, aren't you Gohan? Relax man, we're all cool here." He gives Gohan a reassuring smile.

Gohan laughs nervously. "Y-yeah...right."

Erasa butts in, changing the subject, "Gohan, where's your lunch? You're not poor, are you? I really don't want to hang out with a poor person."

"Aren't Arabs, like, oil-rich or something though?" Erasa's friend asks. "He's probably loaded." she purrs.

Gohan blinks. "N-no, I have a lunch, I'm just... not hungry." Just as he says that, his stomach rumbles loudly.

"Dude, you're an awful liar. What, are you scared of eating in front of people, too?" Erasa asks, as the table starts to laugh.

"It's not that..." Gohan struggles, his anxiety flaring up again.

"He's got somethin' in his bag!" Sharpner's friend holds Gohan's backpack in the air, and begins opening it up.

"Hey, wait a second!" Gohan jumps up, but it's too late. He pulls out the lunchbox, tossing it in the middle of the table. They all stare at it for a few seconds, then to Gohan. Gohan felt his whole life flash before his eyes, this was it. His first fear had come true.

"Holy shit, dude. A cars lunchbox? Are you literally fucking 8?" Sharpner bursts into laughter, along with the rest of the table. Sharpner stands up on his seat, holding up Gohan's lunchbox.

"Hey, everyone, Gohan's a fucking queer! Look at his gay little lunchbox!" He shouts out loud, and soon the whole cafeteria is laughing. Even Mr. Punani.

Gohan's heart was beating rapidly, he hadn't felt like this since Cell smashed Android 16's head. Except this time he felt like he was about to have a panic attack. He couldn't even move as the entire school pointed and laughed at him.

Sharpner opened the contents of the box, throwing on the floor in front of Gohan, his entire lunch completely soiled.

"Get off my table you fucking loser, go sit in the nerd corner." Sharpner shoved Gohan off his seat, and Gohan fell limp the floor. He tried to hold back the tears as he picked up his lunch and walked to the other side in the 'nerd corner'. Nothing could top the humiliation he felt, Gohan wanted to just self-destruct like Cell right then and there. He sat down at the table, where there was one other person sitting with no lunch, but a huge stack of books instead. Gohan glanced back behind him, some people were still laughing and staring at him. He slams his Cars lunchbox on the table in anger.

"This is such bullshit!" He yells quietly to himself. The kid sitting across from him takes out his earbuds.

"Woah! You're a Cars fan too!?" The nerdy boy looks over at Gohan with bright eyes. Gohan recognized him from his class earlier.

"What? No! I'm not into that kiddie shit!" Gohan yelled out, then let out a long sigh. "My mom didn't have any other ones so I had to use my gay little brother's."

"Oh, I see." The nerd replies respectfully. "Ah, Sharpner's crew got you, huh?" He shakes his head in disappointment. "He can be a real prick. They did that to me when I was new once, too."

"What's his problem? He had to go out and humiliate me like that. He seemed like a nice guy too." Gohan pouts.

"Yeah, that's how he tricks you. He'll pick on pretty much anybody, except Videl of course." The nerd tells Gohan as he stares into his phone.

"Videl? Who's that?" Gohan asks peculiarly.

The nerd chuckles. "You'll find out soon! In the meantime, my name is Willy. Pleasure to meet ya!" He grins sheepishly.

"Gohan. Nice to meet you." Gohan creeps a slight smile. Well, at least I made one friend today.

The bell rings loudly once more, signaling the end of lunch.

"Welp, let's get out of here, we don't want to be late for class." Willy giggles and picks up his big pile of books. Gohan gets up and walks with him through the halls. A couple boys shove into him on his way back to class.

"Nice lunchbox, fag." They mutter, giggling as they walk off.

Gohan looks at the floor in shame. Willy gives him an encouraging pat on the back.

"You'll get used to it, Gohan. Plus, people forget things really fast in high school!" Willy smiles optimistically at him. "I fuckin' hate school..." Gohan mutters under his breath.

...

Gohan sits bored in his final class of the day. He still can't get over what happened at lunch, and spent the whole class trying to think of a way around it. There didn't seem to be much hope, this day cemented his status for the rest of the year. He was so angered by that thought he accidentally snapped his pencil in half.

"Um, chill the fuck out, dude," Erasa looks at him with discomfort. "That's the third pencil you've broken in 10 minutes."

Sharpner whispers something to Erasa and hands her a paper. "Oh, Sharpner told me to give you this." She carelessly tosses a piece of crumpled paper towards Gohan, which lands beside his foot. Gohan picks it up and unfolds the paper. It's a picture of a stick figure with 'Sharpner' written on top and a female stick figure with 'Gohan's mom' written beside it. Sharpner is seen penetrating Gohan's mom. Beneath the photo it says "KILL YOURSELF FAGHAN".

Gohan growls in anger. Sharpner and his crew stifle in laughter as they point at him.

"I'm sorry Gohan, you seem to be growling like a pissed off coyote. Oh and it looks like you got something you want to share with the class, hm?" Mr. Punani walks up to the midrow where Gohan is, and takes the crumpled paper from his hand.

"Wait, no! I didn't-" Gohan exclaims.

"My goodness!" Mr. Punani looks at the image with shock and disgust. "You have some sick, sick fantasies my boy. You want that blonde jock fella all over your mommy, don't you?"

"Mr. Punani, I swear-" Gohan tried to interject, but Mr. Punani is having none of it.

"Not another word from you, Gohan. I don't care if that's acceptable in Saudi Arabia, or wherever you're from, but here in Orange Star we take matters like this quite seriously. Now go take this heavy barrels of water and hold them outside for the rest of class!" Mr. Punani says sternly. Sharpner and his crew tries to hold in their laughter as they mock Gohan during his lecture.

"Argh!" Gohan gets up and takes the barrels, walking out of the class in shame. The barrels weren't heavy at all for him, but it's the fact he got in trouble for no reason. He was pissed off and sad beyond belief. Gohan stood there for a good 10 minutes when suddenly something amazing walked by him. A beautiful girl, with dark black hair, pigtails, and an attitude. She didn't even look at Gohan as she sneaked by the class.

"Heh, skipped class again. I knew that doppleganger would come in handy. You're too gangster, Videl." She clenches her fist and grins widely, then runs off down the hall.

 _So that's Videl!_ Gohan remembered what Willy said earlier. She really did seem amazing. The bell finally rung and class was over. Gohan had to wait while everyone exited the classroom, Sharpner and his crew made sure to call Gohan a fag before they left.

"You're free to go now Gohan." Mr. Punani calls out from inside the classroom. "Let that be a lesson to you. Bet you got a nice burn from that." He chuckles. "See you tomorrow, Mohammed."

Gohan rolls his eyes and retrieves his bag, and exits the school.

…

Finally, Gohan's nightmare of a day was over. He didn't know how it could have gone worse. Just about every situation went wrong for him. Despite all that, he managed to at least find a friend in Willy, even if he was kind of a loser. On his flight home, he kept thinking about that girl, Videl. At least she wasn't there to witness all of that embarrassment. That means he still had a chance with her. He knew he'd have to find a way to talk to her, but that was tough since she tends to skip class all day.

Gohan finally arrived home, and was greeted by a slightly drunk, overexcited Chi-chi.

"Oh my little Gohan!" She runs up to hug him. "How was your first day of school, sweetie?"

"It was fucking **terrible**!" Gohan slams his backpack on the floor. "Because of Goten's lunchbox, everyone at school laughed at called me a fag!" Gohan tried to hold back tears as he remembered the traumatic lunchtime events.

Goten chuckles from across the room.

"Oh, Gohan, they're just teasing you. It's just a lunchbox after all." Chi-chi stumbles around the living room and plops onto the couch, and turns the station to Real Housewives of Orange County.

"No mom, it's not just teasing, and it's not just a lunchbox. My high school reputation is ruined, god damn it! From now on, I'm buying my lunch at school. Don't bother packing shit." Gohan folds his arm and walks off into his bedroom. Chi-chi is too focused into her stupid tv show to care, as she pours another glass of wine.

"Hey dipshit, did you get your ass bullied in school today?" Goten chuckles while doing some MLG type stunts in Call of Duty.

"Shut up Goten…" Gohan trembles.

"Oh, I wasn't talking to you, there's this spic on mic I'm trying to get a rise out of." Goten explains. "But glad to know you're a fucking loser too, Gohan!" He breaks into heavy laughter.

"That's it you little fuck!" Gohan unplugs the Xbox One and grabs Goten by his stupid ass hair, and flings him across the room like a frisbee.

"Now fuck off. I need to bust a nut, high school is way to stressful for no-fap." Gohan slams the door and locks it shut.

And with that, Gohan jerked off to thoughts of Videl, desperately trying to forget the memories of what happened today, and start anew tomorrow. Stay tuned for Gohan's next adventure at school in the next exciting chapter.


	3. Gohan Ruins Baseball

The morning sun shined bright over Gohan's small little home. It was a beautiful day today, a perfect day to make friends at school, or at least Gohan thought it was. He was woken up early to the sounds of Goten cussing someone out over Xbox Live.

"No way! You aimbotting piece of shit!" Goten shouts at the TV. "I swear to god I'll find out where you live and turn you into a fucking pile of ash."

Gohan yawns, rubbing his eyes. "Ugh, Goten, have you been playing this shit all night again? Jesus, you know I'm not a NEET anymore, I need to sleep at normal hours now." Gohan says groggily.

Goten completely ignores him, and continues cursing at the TV.

 _God this kid makes me hate dad so much._ Gohan slowly rises out of bed, and begins to get ready for the day.

Chi-chi was up early as well, not because she wanted to greet Gohan before school, but because her hangover kept her up most of the night. She was in the kitchen staring at the microwave when Gohan walked in.

"Morning mom, what's for breakfast?" Gohan asks cheerfully, taking a seat at the table. "Also, Goten was up all night again. Can't you set a curfew for that kid? It's already hard enough to sleep at night with your loud masturbation habits."

Chi-chi sluggishly turns around to him. "Huh? Did you say something?" She rubs her head. "Ugh, I thought being an alcoholic made you immune to hangovers." The microwave dings, Chi-chi takes out a soggy, limp, frozen burrito.

"Here's your breakfast. Bon appetit." She tosses the plate to him and rests her head on the counter.

"Wow mom, you went from that amazing homemade breakfast yesterday to this frozen shit?" Gohan pushes the plate forward in disgust.

"That's all we got. We're poorer than a black family with no welfare."

"You can leave it for Goten. I'll just have a Monster for breakfast."

Chi-chi lifts her head up slightly, glaring at Gohan. "Grr, I _hate_ gamer culture."

Gohan looks in the fridge to find his energy drink gone. "What the hell?" He begins fuming. " **Goten!** " He marches back into his bedroom.

"Ugh, what do you want, fag?" Goten asks after taking the last sip of a Monster and tossing it on the floor near Gohan.

"God damn it Goten, that was my last Monster! I told you I needed that shit, now I'm gonna have caffeine withdrawals in class!" He kicks his trashcan, knocking down a bunch of tissues he jerked off in on the floor.

"Chill, bro." Goten tries to calm him down. "Look, this guy challenged me to a 1v1 money match, and I needed the extra boost. The winner gets $100! I'll buy you a whole pack when I win, I promise I'm good for it." Right after saying that, Goten gets sniped in the game. "Fucking cunt! This guy has to be aimbotting."

Gohan glares over at him. "You better keep your promise, Goten."

"Don't even worry, I got a secret weapon." Goten gestures over to his lag switch device.

Gohan sighs, and grabs his backpack so he can head out for school.

...

Gohan flies off in the air to school, high in the clouds as he looks down at the city.

"Wow, that's pretty funny. I could destroy this entire city if I wanted." Gohan shrugs. "Good thing I'm not Vegeta or something."

Orange Star High is right in the distance. He decides to land on the roof today. He stands at the very edge of the building, enjoying the view and the morning breeze.

"Ah, gotta love the little things in life." Gohan says, taking a deep breath. Suddenly, a female voice reaches his ears.

"Woah kid, it's the 2nd day of high school and you're already calling it quits?" She says. Gohan turns his head behind him. It's Videl! Her cute pigtails gently sway from the breeze.

"Huh?" Gohan gives her a confused look.

"What are you... some kind of loser or something? I thought people were being ironic about suicidal thoughts in the 2010s." Videl folds her arms. "Do it if you want, I guess, but if you survive don't tell them you saw me up here. My helicopter should be here any second now." She scans the sky.

"Oh, I'm not suicidal, I was just looking out at the view." Gohan hops off back onto the roof floor. He felt nervous as he never really talked to a girl before. "U-um, so you're Videl, right?" Gohan asks her, but can't even make eye contact.

"Watching the view? What are you, a lesbian?" Videl glances back at him. "And how do you know my name? Oh god, you're not another Mr. Satan stalker are you?" She steps up to him, grabbing him by his shirt collar.

"N-no! I saw you walk by the hall the other day, some people mentioned your name." Gohan replies. _Holy shit a girl is touching me._ He starts to tremble a bit in fear.

Suddenly, Mr. Punani and a few other teaches bust open the rooftop door.

"Gohan!? Gohan, are you still alive son?" Mr. Punani shouts out. "Ah, there you are, Gohan. Thank god we got you before you jumped." He sighs in relief, rubbing his brow. "Ah, Videl is here too. So this is where you hide to sneak out of class!"

Videl shoves Gohan in anger. "Damn it! Because of you I can't skip class and go to the mall and spend my all my dad's fight money." She clenches her fist in anger. "This is why I fucking hate depressed people, the weak _deserve_ to be killed."

"Well then, Videl, since you talked Gohan out of killing himself I'll let this slide, but you WILL come to class normally from now on, you understand, missy?" Mr. Punani grabs her and Gohan by their arms and drags them down to the class halls.

"Suicide? Wait Mr. Punani, you got it all wrong!" Gohan tries to explain.

"Look Gohan, I know you're misunderstood and that it's hard to fit in when you're from Pakistan or whatever, but suicide is not the answer. We'll call your parents later so they can have you see a therapist, you're in safe hands Gohan." Mr. Punani goes on.

Gohan sighs, while Videl continues to glare at him in anger. _Damn it, I just met her and I already fucked up. How can this day get any worse?_

They finally arrive back in class.

"Let go of me you creep!" Videl shoves Mr. Punani off of her and dusts herself off. "Pedophile stache looking freak." She mumbles under her breath, and walks back over to her desk.

"VIDEL!" Erasa jumps in joy and runs to hug her. "Oh my _god_ it's been, like, such a drag without you. What were you doing on the roof with that loser?"

Videl folds her arms angrily as she sits down. "I was _trying_ to ditch this joint when this fuckboy showed up and tried to kill himself."

"Wow, Gohan tried to kill himself, he's an even bigger bitch than I thought." Sharpner and his crew laugh. "Hey Queerhan, got any more Cars memorabilia you wanna share with us today?" The whole class starts laughing at Gohan. Gohan growls in anger.

"Alright, now that's enough, class. Gohan is a sensitive boy." Mr. Punani puts his arm over Gohan's shoulder. "Gohan had a rough first day yesterday, on top of the fact that his country is getting bombed and shot up on the daily. You need to have a bit more sympathy for him, alright everyone?"

The whole class is silent for a few moments.

"Uh... isn't Gohan, like, fucking gay, though?" Sharpner's buddy asks, and the whole class begins laughing again.

"Ah yes, that reminds me, club signups begin today." Mr. Punani announces. "Since Gohan is in fact gay, I'll sign him up for the LGBT club." He says as he begins writing down in a piece of paper: ' _Reminder: Gohan is gay.'_

"What!? I don't want to sign up for that! I'm straight!" Gohan pleads.

"Now that's enough, Gohan, go take a seat so we can begin our first lesson." Mr. Punani says sternly.

Gohan sighs and takes his seat. He was so frustrated, he couldn't seem to catch a break. It's like the universe was plotting against him to make his whole high school experience miserable. Gohan glanced over at Videl, who was still visibly pretty pissed off. He had to find some way to apologize and make it up to her. As the class went on, Gohan could feel himself get pretty restless from his caffeine withdrawal. He craved a Monster drink so bad...

...

"Alright class, now hopefully you have a keen understanding of how abortions work in Future West City." Mr. Punani finishes just as the bell rings. "Now get outside and enjoy PE, you hooligans!"

"Ah, fuck yeah! I love PE!" Sharpner shouts, and downs an entire can of Monster in like 30 seconds. Gohan licks his lips in envy. _That bastard... Goten better have won that money match or I might have to rob a 7/11 later tonight._

Gohan and the rest of the class begin to head outside to the field. Their PE teacher greets them as they arrive.

"Hi there kids, my name is Mr. Freddie Mercury, and I'm your PE teacher." He greets himself, he really did look like Freddie Mercury, except a lot more pedophilic. "We're gonna start you girl scouts off with some good old fashioned, American baseball. Get your game faces on! Videl and Sharpner, you'll each be team captains, now go ahead and pick your teams."

The two begin picking out teammates until only Gohan and Willy are left.

"Hmm," Sharpner rubs his chin, thinking carefully. "Gohan's pretty built, but he's also a huge pussy, so in that case, I pick Willy!" He grins, as Willy walks over to his side. "Darn, guess we gotta play against each other Gohan!" Willy shrugs.

"Oh come on! Give me a break, I have like 4 chicks on my team already, I don't need a 5th one." Videl protests.

"He can't be _any_ worse than that dweeb Willy," Erasa says. "Plus didn't he say he was, like, a gamer or something? Maybe he knows some strategies or something." She shrugs.

"Grr. Fine, whatever." Videl concedes. "Just don't try to kill yourself or something during the game, alright?"

Gohan nods his head. "Videl, I won't let you down." Gohan says passionately. Gohan actually had no idea how to play baseball, he'd only seen a few games once or twice on TV.

"Alright, Gohan, go to the right field. Keep your eyes peeled for that ball." Videl tells him. She grins as she tosses the ball in her hand, Sharpner on the batting square. "You won't be dodging this one!" She cocks her arm back and gets ready for the throw. "Here it goes, the Mr. Satan strike shot!" She tosses the ball with miraculous strength, sending it flying across the field in the blink of an eye. Sharpner readies himself, swinging with perfect accuracy as he sends it flying.

 _Alright, Gohan, take it easy, try not to show off your powers too much._ Gohan can see the ball easily as it zips through the air, and jumps up to grab it, flying almost 20 feet in the air, it goes right in his hand.

"What the hell!?" Sharpner's jaw almost drops. "How'd that queer manage that?"

"Got it! How's that for a catch?" Gohan grins proudly. But he realizes everyone is staring at him in shock.

"Wow Gohan! How on Earth did you jump that high?! You must've watched Like Mike a bunch of times." Willy shouts, his eyes shining in admiration.

"Uh, hehe. Guess my Air Jordan 11s gave me a nice boost..." he scratches his head nervously.

Sharpner growls in anger, rubbing his nose in frustration. "I thought those were bootleg Nike's. This kid is _definitely_ a fucking try hard."

Videl jumps up in joy, pounding her fist. "Fuck yeah! Way to go, Gohan. I guess you're not a complete loser after all!" She grins, and gives Sharpner the finger. "Bet you wish you picked Gohan now, huh?"

Sharpner walks over to Gohan, shoving the bat in his chest. "It's your turn to bat, Faghan. I'm not gonna give you an easy throw, so get ready."

Gohan takes the bat with confidence. "Heh, I got this in the bag. I'll try and hit a homerun."

Gohan readies up, getting into striking pose.

 _Not too hard, but not too soft either. We want to stick it to this douchebag._

"You ready, loser?" Sharpner asks, readying his arm. Gohan nods his head.

"Alright, here it goes," Sharpner spins his arm like a helicopter. "This throw made my dad leave us! Sharp-ner THROOOOOWWW!" He launches the ball blindingly fast, even faster than Videl's, however it's still no trouble for Gohan's quick eye. Gohan yells, with similar tone to an enraged Down's kid, and hits the ball with slight force, causing it to launch straight into the sky. It goes so far up it crashes straight into a Mr. Satan promotional blimp, causing it tumble down from the sky.

"Oh shit." Gohan sinks into the ground as the blimp bursts into flames.

"What in the fuck..." Sharpner looks at the sky shocked, then back to Gohan. "Jesus christ, this kid has some insane retard rage."

Videl comes marching towards Gohan, grabbing him by his neck. "Gohan, what the FUCK!?" she screams. "That was my father's blimp, he makes money by the hour with that shit! You know how many sports bras a girl like me tears through each week?" She shoves Gohan to the ground.

"V-videl, I'm so sorry, I-" Gohan tries to apologize.

"Wow Gohan, that was quite a hit you did there. Guess we should've put you in special ed PE." Mr. Freddie Mercury scratches his head. "Well, that was our only ball. The school cut down our budget pretty hard after I molested some of our cheerleaders a while back. Guess you'll all have to sit around like a bunch of deadbeats for the rest of class. I'm off to.. uh.. smoke a cigarette." He heads off as he quickly pulls a condom out of his back pocket and walks off into the school building.

"Way to go Gohan, you ruined PE for everyone!" One student shouts, throwing his glove on the floor. Everyone starts ridiculing Gohan as they walk off the field.

"Good one, Gohan. You just had to show your retard strength." Sharpner shoves him as he passes by. Videl glares at him too. "I wish you _did_ jump." She says coldly. Gohan bows his head down in shame. Willy places his hand on his shoulder.

"It's alright, Gohan. I know having autism can make it hard to control your emotions sometimes," Willy says with a friendly smile. "I'm on the spectrum myself."

Gohan sighs and walks off to the bleachers where the rest of the class is. "Yeah, whatever." Gohan mutters shamefully.

"Ugh, great, what am I supposed to do for the rest of PE?" Sharpner complains.

"We could watch Worldstar videos on my iPhone." suggests Sharpner's mohawk friend.

"Nah, that only makes me want to beat up some nerds, and I can't fight anybody until at least the 2nd week of school, that's when the teachers stop giving a shit." Sharpner says, then shoots a quick glance at Gohan. "That's the only reason why Gayhan over there doesn't have a broken nose."

"Oh come on Sharpner, it was just an accident," Willy tries to defend Gohan. "He didn't mean to destroy that blimp and kill 2 people."

"Huh? How do you know they died?" Gohan asks. Willy shows him his iPhone with the news article.

"Jesus... I really fucked up." Gohan says with guilt.

On the other side of the bleachers, Videl and Erasa are doing some stretches.

"Damn, Videl is so hot." Sharpner says. She bends over, giving a nice view of her perky butt.

"Damn..." Gohan whispers under his breath, making sure to take a mental screenshot for later.

"Man, I'd so take her out to Wendy's." Sharpner's friend says.

"Fuck a Wendy's, Videl is a classy girl, she's the type of chick you take to an Olive Garden." Sharpner leans back, taking in the view.

"God, I want to sniff her feet so bad..." says Willy. The rest of the boys just stare at him for a few moments. "...did I say that out loud?"

Sharpner cringes. "Fucking weirdo."

...

It was finally lunch time, Gohan and the rest of the class congregated over to the cafeteria. He brought five dollars with him to buy something. He waited in line, as a fat cafeteria lady laid down some slop on a tray. Gohan couldn't tell what it was, it looked like that time Goten threw up after eating nothing but Hot Cheetos for a month.

"Um ma'am, is this kosher?" Gohan asks politely. "I really can't justify supporting captialist meat slaughtering methods. I signed an online petition for it a few months ago."

The cafeteria lady growls at Gohan, then spits a huge loogie into his slop. "There, now it's kosher. Pussy. NEXT!"

Gohan grabs the tray and walks off. "Jeez... I can't even _buy_ a decent meal at school. I'm gonna be skinnier than an Asian kid in Africa by the end of this school year." Gohan's stomach grumbles. Sharpner walks by and shoves him, almost making him drop his tray.

"Hey Gohan, what's for lunch? Cock?" He laughs, and high fives his bro. "Here let me add an extra topping." Sharpner spits a fat loogie onto his slop, right on top of the cafeteria lady's.

"Aw, come on, man!" Gohan says angrily.

"Those are some sick Jordans, Gohan, would be a shame if they got dirty." He says, and then knocks Gohan's tray right on top of his Air Jordan 11s. "Oops!" He walks off laughing back to his table.

"No!" Gohan yells, desperately trying to wipe the slop off his shoes. "I just cleaned these last week!"

Everyone in the cafeteria begins to laugh as Gohan walks over to his table in shame. He slams his tray on the table as he sits down.

"God damn it!" he shouts out in frustration.

"Oh hey Gohan." Willy greets him , as he takes out his earphones which is playing some really loud hentai audio. "Another rough lunch day, buddy?"

"That Sharpner guy is really getting on my nerves." Gohan clenches his fist. "If only he knew who I was, he'd treat me with a little more respect!"

"Um, I think he does know who you are," says Willy. "You're Gohan, obviously. The poor, suicidal kid from Iraq who dresses like he grew up in an all white, suburban neighborhood, listening to rap music despite never having a black friend in his life."

"What's that even supposed to mean?" Gohan asks.

Willy shurgs. "I dunno, just repeating what I heard everyone else saying."

"So that's what they think of me? Damn it, no wonder Videl doesn't like me!" Gohan sighs.

"No, actually, I think Videl _hates_ you because you blew up her father's blimp and made her get caught while skipping class. You probably have no chance at all!" Willy smiles.

Gohan sighs again. "Thanks Willy, that really helps."

"You're welcome, Gohan!" Willy smiles innocently and goes back to watching his hentai.

 _Fucking autist._ Gohan grabs some napkins and tries to clean up his Jordans during the rest of lunch.

...

Finally school was over. Gohan made sure to stay quiet the rest of the day, he couldn't bear to draw any more embarrassment to himself. He already screwed up hard with Videl, she already hated him. And the guilt of him killing two people during that blimp accident weighed heavily on his conscious. He almost threw up on his flight back home, but he wasn't sure if it was the guilt or caffeine withdrawal. It had only been two days, but Gohan was already fed up with school. He never wanted to go back, but he knew his mother wouldn't let that happen. Gohan let out a deep sigh as he opened the door.

"Gohan!?" Chi-chi yells as soon as the door opens, her words slurred. "Oh my little Gohan!" She runs up to hug him, clenching him tighter than a 90s freestyle cypher.

"Jesus, mom, you smell like a liquor store that just got fucking leveled." Gohan pushes her off.

"Oh, Gohan, your school told me you tried to kill yourself! I was so worried." she said with tears in her eyes.

"No mom, it was just a misunderstanding." Gohan sighs. "Can I just go to my room, I don't feel like talking about this."

"Oh, thank goodness!" Chi-chi says in relief. "I was so worried I had to pay for your funeral expenses. I'm going off to buy more wine then." She stumbles off out of the house.

Gohan opens his bedroom door to see Goten still being a deadbeat.

"Oh, Gohan... you're alive." Goten says, rubbing his head.

"Of course I'm alive you jackass." Gohan tosses his bag on the floor and collapes on his bed.

"Well mom said you jumped off a building during school or something." Goten shrugs.

"Look, I'm not even going to bother explaining this shit to you." Gohan sighs. "So did you win that money match or what? I need a Monster bad, I feel like a recovering heroin addict."

"Uh, yeah, see that's the thing," Goten begins. "I was kind of hoping you were dead, because..."

Gohan grits his teeth in anger. "Goten..."

"Well, I kind of have some bad news." Goten laughs nervously. "So I lost the money match 10-0, and I also lost 400 dollars of your account, and like half of your anime figures when I tried to rematch him. I mean, I thought you were dead, after all... he he..?"

Gohan begins fuming with rage, he almost turns into a SSJ2.

" **GOD DAMN IT GOTEN!** " he screams, and chases him out of the house around the country side, fighting as Saiyan brothers do, and up destroying several small villages and killing a few people in the aftermath. Gohan ended up robbing a local 7/11 in West City for a Monster 6 pack. It's not something he would ever normally do, but the stresses of recent events have changed Gohan in a way. Unfortunately for Gohan, this is just the beginning of his tragic tale. Stay tuned for the next chapter of TOSHSM!


	4. Sharpner vs Gohan

It was another bright and early day in Satan City. It had been about two weeks since Gohan started high school at Orange Star. Although Gohan was an excellent student and got near perfect scores in every class, he felt like a complete failure. It was still very difficult for him to fit in with the other students, and on top of that, Videl practically ignored his existence. He wished desperately that he could find some way for her to like him, but at this point he'd probably need Shenron to help him with that. Gohan was running late for school after a struggle session in the bathroom this morning. He sped through the air like a deranged alcoholic doubled up on cocaine.

"That's the last time I have Taco Bell as a midnight 'snack'." Gohan rubs his stomach, which is grumbling. "Oh god, I hope I can hold this in just until the end of the school day..."

As Gohan approaches school, he feels a sharp cramp in his abdomen. "Aw shit! I'm fallin' down!" Gohan tumbles out of the sky, landing on a dusty 2001 Honda Taurus.

"Oh, Christ," Gohan rubs his head as he gets up. He left a huge dent on the roof of the car. "Now I know what a period feels like."

"What the fuck, kid!" A chubby pig man with various tattoos, possibly gang related, steps out of the car. "I just stole this car last night." He shiftily looks around the area.

"I'm real sorry mister, you see I went to Taco Bell last night and-" Gohan tries to explain.

"Forget about it." The pig man leans over close to Gohan. "Listen, I got a few DUIs and I can't afford to make this an issue with the cops." The pig man digs into his coat pocket and pulls out a ziplock bag.

"Here, why don't you take this crystal meth and we'll call it square, alright, kid?" The pig creatures hands Gohan the bag, and hurriedly rushes back inside the car. "It'll fix ya right up, and it's also good for those period cramps!" The pig man speeds off before Gohan can even respond.

Gohan sighs and rubs his palm against his face. "Great, what the hell am I supposed to do with this shit now?" He quickly puts the crystal meth in his backpack, and checks his watch.

"Shit!" Gohan shrieks. "I'm late! Damn it, Mr. Punani is gonna make me torrent Seinfeld episodes after school again." Gohan starts running in place like a dumbass and then speeds off like Sonic the Hedgehog, arriving right in front of the school within 30 seconds.

...

Gohan rushes through the halls and up the stairs to class, bursting the door open.

"Sorry I'm late!" Gohan says, out of breath. He looks over and notices Mr. Punani isn't in class.

"Hey Gohan," Willy greets, waving at him. "Guess it's your lucky day, Mr. Punani is absent!"

Gohan sighs in relief. "Thank goodness, I had such a rough start today."

"Sup Gayhan," Sharpner says with a smug grin. "Late for school like a little bitch, huh?"

Gohan growls as he takes his seat. "The name's _Go_ han, I thought I told you this already, Sharpner."

"Heh, yeah?" Sharpner grins. "Well why don't you _go_ and be gay somewhere else." The whole class laughs and Sharpner shoots a spitball right at Gohan's face.

"Sorry, I'm late or whatever." says Videl sourly as she enters the classroom.

"Hey Videl." Erasa waves with a big smile. "That dipshit Mr. Punani is, like, absent or something."

"No shit?" Videl grins, and turns around back toward the door. "Then let's ditch this shit shack, my dad just installed this sick ass indoor pool."

"Not so fast there, little girl." A tall, portly man with big glasses and suitcase slams the door shut behind her. "You're gonna have to save your little pool party for the weekend, I'll be your substitute teacher."

"Ugh, a substitute teacher? This school doesn't have the budget for that." Videl angrily stomps her foot on the ground.

The portly man grins. "They're giving me a _different_ kind of payment." He says with a wink.

Videl shudders. "Gross. Who's your fat ass supposed to be anyway?"

"My name is Mr. Ruffee." The portly man introduces himself, and sets his briefcase on the teacher's desk. "And I'll be your substitute teacher for the day."

"Mr. Ruffee?" Videl looks creeped out. "What are you, a date rapist?"

Mr. Ruffee nods his head. "Yes. And a registered sex offender."

Videl slowly backs away. "I fucking hate this school." She mumbles as she walks back towards her desk.

"Alright, now which one of you is, uh... Go-han?" Mr. Ruffee asks the classroom.

Gohan raises his hand. "Um, that's me."

"Says here you're from Iraq." Mr. Ruffee pulls out a security wand from his briefcase. "Gonna have to do some inspection in your backpack. For safety reasons."

"Huh?" Gohan panics as he remembers the crystal meth in his backpack. "W-wait a minute, this shit can't be legal!" Gohan protests as he holds his bag tightly against his chest.

"You're a kid _and_ a minority, you don't have rights. Now hand the bag over you little shit. Shouldn't be a problem if you got nothin' to hide." Mr. Ruffee squawks.

"Yeah, Gohan, just give him the bag." Erasa tells him. "You're acting, like, pretty fucking suspicious you know."

The whole class begins yelling at Gohan to give him the bag.

"I don't have a bomb!" Gohan pleads. "Please don't make me open the bag, Mr. Ruffee!"

"Jesus, kid, what's your problem?" Erasa starts pulling at Gohan's backpack. "What, did you bring your Cars lunchbox again? Give me that shit!" She rips it from Gohan's bag and throws it to Mr. Ruffee.

"Thank you, little blonde girl." He shoots her a really creepy wink, and then begins to open the bag. He searches through, finding nothing but books and the small ziplock bag.

"Hrm?" Mr. Ruffee pulls the bag out, examining it. "What's this here, Gohan?"

 _Great, I'm fucked now._ Gohan lowers his head down in shame.

Mr. Ruffee opens the bag and examines the crystal meth with his fingers. "Dear god!" he says with a horrified expression. "This kid is hiding crystal meth!"

The whole class gasps in shock.

"Wow, check it out everyone, Gohan's a fucking junkie!" Sharpner shouts out.

"Well, I'll be damned." Mr. Ruffee shakes his head disapprovingly at Gohan. "You're far too young to be smoking meth, Gohan. I'll let you off with a little warning this time, but I _will_ be taking this." He puts the bag of meth into his back pocket.

"Jeez Gohan, you're a real fuck up aren't you?" Erasa looks at him with contempt. "God, I can't believe I have to sit next to you all year. I'd rather sit next to Willy with him gawking at my feet all day then sit next to _your_ loser ass." She scoots back as far as she possibly can away from Gohan.

"This is a huge misunderstanding!" Gohan tries to reason. "If you guys would just give me a minute to explain."

"You can explain it to the principal when I leave a note for Mr. Punani to report it!" Mr. Ruffee shouts back.

"What!?" Gohan jumps out of his seat. "You said you'd let it slide!"

"Yeah, today." Mr. Ruffee shrugs. "If I report it now, they'll confiscate the bag. I'm not gonna pass up some of this high quality meth." He sniffs the inside of the bag, sighing. "I need to get the name of your dealer after class, Gohan."

The whole class begins giggling and calling Gohan a loser.

"Now that's enough everyone." Mr. Ruffee puts the meth into his briefcase and begins writing on the chalkboard. "We gotta begin! Today's lesson is about black crime statistics..." He goes off. Gohan sighs and sinks into his seat with embarrassment.

...

It was just after lunch and Gohan was in the hallway, getting some books out from his locker. He had a project coming up and realized he didn't have a partner. Gohan saw Videl just at the end of the hall by her locker. He took a deep breath and decided to approach her. He nearly trips over his own foot as he tries to walk 'confidently', like the YouTube pickup artists he watches everyday.

"Um, hey Videl." Gohan says shyly. She barely notices his presence next to her.

"Huh? Did somebody say something?" Videl turns over to see Gohan. "Oh, it's you." She looks a bit pissed off now. "What do you want? I'm not interested in buying any meth or whatever."

"Er, it's not that." Gohan scratches his head, his thoughts are all jangled up. "Well, um..." He starts stuttering.

Videl just looks at him confused. "What the hell is wrong with you? Were you tweaking during lunch or something? Spit it out already."  
"S-sorry, I was just wondering..." Gohan tries again. "Well, if you wanted to be partners for the Sex-Ed project. We're supposed to be in boy and girl pairs and I don't have a partner, so..."

Videl laughs to herself and slams her locker shut. "Sorry, but no. I don't hang with junkies." She dismisses him. Before she can leave, Sharpner comes across the hall corner.

"Videl, what's happening, girl?" He greets her, leaning against the locker coolly. "Faghan, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be hitting a pipe or something?"

Gohan clenches his book in anger.

"Oh yeah, Videl, you know that stupid Sex-Ed project?" Sharpner says. "We should totally be partners."

Videl sighs. "Yeah, sure, whatever, just don't expect me to do any work, alright?" She walks off back to class.

"Heh, fuck yeah." Sharpner grins contently. "See that, Gohan, that's how you seal the deal with a lady." He flexes his muscles in front of Gohan then shoves him into the lockers, knocking his books on the floor. "Seeya later, queer."

Gohan fumes with anger, he couldn't believe Videl chose Sharpner over him. He picks his books back up and walks to class pissed off.

...

Back in class, Mr. Ruffee walks in a couple minutes late, his eyes bloodshot. He nearly trips over as he walks over to the desk.

"Oh, shit," he rubs his head as he falls over on the desk. "That crystal meth really fucked me up. I'm too old for these drugs." Mr. Ruffee quickly dozes off into a slumber.

The class begins fucking around as the substitute teacher takes a nap.

"God, I wish I had cool, hot boyfriend!" Erasa sighs. "Everyone in this school is _so_ lame, though."

Videl nods her head. "It's so hard to just find a confident, honest guy around here. Everyone is such a fucking try hard."

Sharpner rubs his chin. "An honest guy, huh?" He walks over and leans against Videl's desk, grinning smugly. "Yo, sup, Videl?" He makes sure to flex his muscles in front of her. "You like an honest man, huh? You ever heard a white man say the n-word?" Sharpner leans in close to her ear. "Hard r?"

Videl immediately slaps him across the face, leaving a nice red hand print on his cheek. "Screw off. I don't fuck with racists." She grabs her bag and stands up from her seat. "Come on Erasa, let's make a run for it before that dipshit wakes up." They both get up and run out of the classroom.

Gohan starts to laugh uncontrollably.

"Wow, really, Sharpner? A hard r?" Gohan shakes his head disapprovingly. "Not even black people say that shit."

Sharpner growls in anger, and marches toward Gohan with his fists clenched tightly.

"I don't think anybody asked for your opinion, Bitchhan." Sharpner snaps at him.

Gohan jumps out of his seat and faces Sharpner. "I'm getting sick of you calling me that shit!" Gohan yells out angrily.

"Oh yeah, and what are you gonna do about it, pussy?" Sharpner grabs Gohan's collar, pulling closer towards him. The whole class begins to oooh as the two go head to head. "Fight! Fight!" the students begin to shout out.

"You gonna hit me, fuckboy?" Sharpner tempts Gohan.

"Please," Gohan dismisses him, knowing full well he could kill Sharpner without even trying. "One hit and you'd look like a white supremacist at a Black Lives Matter rally."

Sharpner furrows his brow in anger and shoves Gohan back into his seat. "You got a lot of confidence for a Cars lunchbox-having bitch. Why don't we settle this right now then?"

The class eggs them on, repeatedly shouting 'Fight! Fight!'

Mr. Ruffee wakes up , looking around the class in confusion. "Huh, fight?" He quickly gets up from his chair. "Now that's enough, there will be no fights in this classroom!" He announces, the whole class groans in disappointment. "You two can save that shit for the parking lot so I can record it and upload it to Worldstar."

Sharpner grins. "What do you say Gohan, me and you after school. If you win, I'll leave you alone for the rest of the school year," Sharpner bargains. "But if I win, you have to do my Sex-Ed project for me, got it, punk? I'm _way_ too cool for that homework shit."

Suddenly, a light flashes in Gohan's brain. If he does the project for him, that means he's also doing it for Videl, which means he'll get another excuse to interact with her. Gohan thinks for a second, then grins smugly back at Sharpner.

"Alright, Sharpner, you're on." Gohan extends his hand to shake on it.

Sharpner cracks his knuckles, chuckling to himself. "Handshakes are for queers. Seeya after school, Gayhan. Don't pussy out." Sharpner walks back over to his desk.

Gohan knew that Sharpner couldn't actually do anything to him, but he still had to lose the fight so that he could do the group project for him. It means he had to swallow his pride and _pretend_ to get his ass kicked by Sharpner. It would be humiliating, but it was worth it for him if it meant another shot at talking to Videl.

...

The last bell of the day had rung, and it was now time for the fight with Sharpner in the parking lot. At this point, everyone in the school was talking about it and it was a huge event. The students whispered among themselves as they passed Gohan in the hall.

"Wow, Gohan's really gonna fight Sharpner, he must be pretty tough."

Gohan was getting pretty popular off this, he imagined how much respect he'd get if he actually decided to win the fight. But he didn't care about that, he just wanted Videl's attention first and foremost. As Gohan was heading out to the parking lot, Willy caught up with him in the halls.

"Gohan, you sure you can take Sharpner?" Willy asks him, knowing pretty confidently that Gohan stands no chance. "You know that guy's a boxer, right? I don't want you to get hurt out there!"

Gohan nods his head. "Don't worry about me Willy, I thought this through." Gohan reassures him.

"Well, you are pretty smart Gohan." Willy nods. "If you say so, buddy. Good luck out there. I got a Cars 3 fanny pack I can fill with ice if you get your ass beat."

Gohan shakes his head. "Um, no thanks, dude."

Gohan finally makes his way outside in the parking lot, where there's a huge crowd waiting outside, it must be the entire school waiting to watch this fight. Gohan gulped a little in fear.

"There's Gohan! Bring him up here!" One student shouts as he drags Gohan through the ocean of people and into the center, where Sharpner stands confidently.

"There you are, Faghan." Sharpner walks forward, cracking his knuckles. "I didn't think you'd actually show up. Guess you got some balls in between those legs."

"I wouldn't pussy out against _you._ " Gohan responds, and the crowd begins to hype up.

"Aw yeah, Gohan's gonna fuck him up!" One student shouts out from the crowd.

Sharpner hisses, and steps right into Gohan's grill. "Your confidence won't save you here, Gohan. I've been boxing for years, you're not gonna stand a chance against me. Now let's fucking go, I just downed like 3 Rockstars." Sharpner cracks his neck and gets into fighting stance.

Gohan takes a deep breath. _Alright, remember, I'm not allowed to even touch this guy. I gotta swallow my pride and take the beating like a man. Think of that cutie Videl on the other side of all this-_

Before Gohan can even finish the thought, he gets a clean fist right against his jaw. Gohan reels back from the hit, nearly stumbling over.

"Aw shit, I wasn't even rea-" Gohan gets clocked with another fist to the face, then another right in the stomach as Sharpner begins pummeling him.

"Oh fuck, Gohan's getting his ass beat!"

"WORLD STAR, WORLD STAAAARRRR!" The students shout out.

"You're pretty built, kid, but it ain't gonna stop these blows!" Sharpner yells as he pounds Gohan. He has no choice but to take the beat down.

"Come on, Gohan, fight back!" The students shout at him, but Gohan just stands there like a human punching bag getting his ass beat.

"Talk shit, get hit, pussy!" Sharpner yells and hits him with a finishing blow, knocking Gohan flat on the ground with a black eye.

Gohan just lies there on the floor. _Jeez, this guy's a fucking pussy, that barely even hurt. But fuck, I have to pretend to be in pain and shit._

"Ow, ah!" Gohan winces. "Oh fuck, aaaaah, shit the pain!" Gohan yells.

The whole crowd begins to boo and walk off from the parking lot.

"Wow what a letdown, Gohan's a huge pussy!" The students shout out.

"I skipped fucking a cheer leader to watch this shit show?" Mr. Freddie Mercury says, spitting on Gohan as he passes by.

"You're fucking pathetic, Gohan." Sharpner scoffs, hocking a huge loogie on Gohan's face. "Can't believe I downed 3 Rockstars for your pussy ass. Don't forget my project, fag."

Gohan lies there, humiliated, and wipes the spit off of his face. He felt like a complete loser but the thought of Videl talking to him again helped his spirit. As the crowd dissipates, Willy walks over to Gohan's corpse.

"Um, you still alive Gohan?" Willy asks, extending his hand downward to help him up.

Gohan pulls himself up and dusts his shirt off. "Yeah, I'm fine." Gohan sighs.

"You got your ass beat worse than Rodney King out there." Willy rubs his head. "What were you thinking, Gohan?"

"It's cool, I lost so I could do the group project for him. That means I'll get a chance to talk with Videl." Gohan explains.

Willy nods. "Ah, I see. Strategic move there, buddy." Willy smiles. "Oh, you want my Cars 3 fanny pack?"

Gohan shudders. "No thanks. Anyways, I better head home. Later, Willy." Gohan heads off.

"Seeya, pal!" Willy says with a slightly gay undertone.

...

Gohan arrives home safely, carefully floating down in front of his house. He notices a Comcast cable truck outside. He can hear children giggling nearby him.

"Hey Gohan!" Goten calls out. Trunks is with him. "Woah, what the fuck happened to your eye? Did you try to suck dick and put it in the wrong hole?" They laugh at him.

"Fuck off Goten. I got in a fight at school." Gohan explains.

"Wait, you mean you got your ass beat by some human kid?" Trunks asks, and the two burst out laughing. "You know you could kill them with like one punch, right?"

"Yeah, I know that, dipshit. I lost the fight _stratgetically_ so I can partner up with this hot chick in my class."

"Pfft, your big brother's whipped as fuck, Goten. He clearly doesn't listen to Dr. Dre."

"Yeah!" Goten shouts. "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks!" He high-fives Trunks.

Gohan rolls his eyes. "What's your Tumblr-looking ass doing here anyways, Trunks?"

"I told you already, Gohan, it's not Tumblr if my hair is _naturally_ this color," Trunks snarls. "My mom kicked me out of the house for jacking off on her time machine again, so I'm chilling with Goten."

"Did you get those pics of your mom I asked for?" Gohan raises his eyebrow.

Trunks grins, pulling out a stack of photographs from his pocket. "That depends. You got my Xbox Live card?"

Gohan tosses a card out of his bag and the two trade. Gohan shifts through the photos. "God damn, your mom's breast implants really paid off." Gohan bites his lip.

"Fuck yeah!" Trunks jumps up and down cheerfully. "Come on Goten, let's go buy some Minecraft DLC!"

 _Man, kids play the lamest shit nowadays._

"Well, I'm harder than the new Kodak Black album. I need to bust one, fast." Gohan hurriedly rushes into the house.

"Wait a sec Gohan, you don't want to go in there right now." Goten flies over to him. "Mom's fucking the cable guy again."

"Huh?" Gohan rubs his chin. "Does that mean we're getting HBO again? Thank god, I missed like 2 seasons of Game of Thrones."

Goten shrugs. "Probably, they've been in there quite a while."

"Whatever, I'll just jack off in the forest again." Gohan waves. "Seeya later, kids!"

Gohan binge watched Game of Thrones for the rest of the night and weekend, and got to work on that Sex-Ed project. Although he felt deep humilation from getting his ass beat by Sharpner, and knew he'd probably never live it down, Gohan felt happy that he'd get one more shot at impressing Videl. Stay tuned for the next chapter of TOSHSM to see what happens with Gohan and Videl!


	5. Field Trip

Another nice and sunny day in Satan City. Gohan looked fly as usual in his red Nike Air Huaraches and bootleg Rolex watch. Today was a very special day for Gohan. He was going on his first ever school field trip! He sat down in the dining room with Goten for breakfast. Chichi was furiously cooking some egg and hashbrowns for the first time in months.

"God, I can't believe I had to pay $35 for your gay ass field trip!" Chichi complains as she viciously flips some potatoes. "You're lucky I have a steady following of people who donate to my live webcam shows or your ass would be sitting out."

Gohan rolls his eyes. "Geez mom, what's the point of sending me to school if you're just gonna bitch at me everytime you have to spend a dollar on my education!"

Chichi slams the pan back on the oven top. "So you don't become a fuck up like your father!" She mixes in various seasonings and spices to the pan of food. "Or Goten."

Goten looks up from his Playstation Vita. "Huh? What'd you say mom?" Goten asks confused.

"Look mom, I know you've been lonely and bitter ever since dad killed himself, but you don't need to be such a bitch all the time, especially towards Goten, he's just a kid and shit." Gohan sighs, folding his arms.

"That kid looks literally exactly like your father." Chichi prepares a plate for the two, and passes it over to them. "It's hard not to take all of my pent up anger and frustration on him."

Goten lifts the back of his shirt. "She's not kidding. She beats the shit out of me a lot."

 _Jesus christ I might have to call child protective services once I turn 18._ Gohan starts digging into his breakfast.

"Hey Goten, still playing that gay Hatsune Miku shit?" Gohan mumbles with his mouth full.

"A-all the kids are playing this!" Goten slams his fork on the table, growling at Gohan. "Why don't you just fuck off to school so you can get your ass bullied already, fag!"

Gohan snatches his backpack off the table. "What the fuck, Goten, you just had to get personal like that."

"Hey pussy-er, I mean, son. Give this shit to Bulma on your way back home today." Chichi hands him a small prescription bottle.

"Huh? What's this, mom?" Gohan inspects the green bottle, then opens it up, a strong smell emanating from inside.

Chichi quickly snaps it shut before Gohan can look inside, but he has a pretty good idea what it is anyways. "Hey, I said this was for Bulma, squirt." She shoves him out the front door. "Now get the fuck out and go to school. Don't forget to give her that shit, or your ass is _mine_ , got it?" Chichi sternly warns him then slams the door shut.

...

Shortly after, Gohan arrives in front of the school building, where his class is already waiting outside.

"Ah, Gohan, just in time." Mr. Punani greets him. "Have you got your permission slip, son?"

"Yeah, right here sir." Gohan hands him the slip from his backpack.

Mr. Punani inspects it. "Hm? Your mother's name is Chichi?"

"Um, yeah." Gohan replies.

"HotWidowChichi69 on ?" Mr. Punani asks.

"Huh? What the fuck are you talking about, sir?" Gohan asks, before the realization hits him. "Y-you, got the wrong person alright." He says with his voice low.

"No, no, that's definitely her!" Mr. Punani shouts so the whole class can hear. "That's why I thought you looked so familiar! I've been jacking off to your mother for years, she's a very talented woman."

"Check it out, guys, Gohan's mom is a porn star!" Sharpner shouts as the whole class laughs.

"Hey Gohan, think she'll suck my dick if I pay for your lunch ticket?" one of the kids asks.

Gohan snarls back at them. "Fuck off you guys."

"Alright, class, now that's enough about Gohan's mom. If you really want to see her, her name is HotWidowChichi69 on , make sure everyone writes that down." Mr. Punani instructs the class, as Gohan grows more and more angry.

"Wow, Gohan! Your mom is live right now!" Willy shouts as he shows Gohan his phone. His mom is doing some weird shit with a cucumber.

Gohan snatches the phone from Willy's hand and closes the tab. "Don't watch that shit in front of me! What the fuck, Willy?" Gohan snaps at him.

"Gee, I'm sorry, Gohan," Willy rubs his arm. "I was just doing what the teacher instructed."

"Fuckin' teacher's pet ass bitch." Gohan whispers under his breath.

"Alright, class, now that I've gotten everyone's permission slips and the bus is here, we can get a move on!" Mr. Punani announces, and begins rounding everyone up inside the bus.

Despite the rough morning already, Gohan was still excited for today's field trip, since they'd be going to the old Cell Games arena. Gohan was ready to impress the whole class with his knowledge and finally get the respect he deserves.

"God, this bus fucking sucks." Videl complains. "It smells like a port-a-potty and there's trash _everywhere_." She shuffles through a sea of empty beer cans as she walks to her seat.

"That's because I live here!" The bus driver explains proudly. "Been livin' in this bus for the past 14 years."

"Ever thought about cleaning up around here, asshole?" Erasa asks as she plugs her nose from the disgusting smell.

"This is a _man_ -cave, sweetie, there's no such thing as cleaning in this domain."

Erasa shudders. "Ugh, gamers are _such_ losers."

"Alright boys and girls, off we go!" The driver shouts as the bus finally begins moving.

Gohan immediately puts away his Nintendo 3DS. "Shit..." He leans over behind his seat, facing where Videl and Erasa are sitting. Gohan smiles at them for a few moments as they stare awkwardly.

"Um, hey loser?" Erasa glares at him. "Can you, like, fuck off a little bit? You're being really weird again."

"Um, sorry, just wanted ask if you guys were e-excited to go to the Arena.." Gohan asks shyly.

"I don't give a shit, my dad's taken me here like a million times already." Videl sighs. "I just want to go home so I can bitch about politics on Twitter all day."

"Yeah, no shit. No data out here." Erasa groans, turning off her iPhone.

Gohan rubs the back of his head nervously. "Er, well, my mom's friend is like, kind of a bitch, but also really smart so..." Gohan tries to explain, until Sharpner cuts him off.

"Heh, what's up with the nerd fest?" Sharpner grabs Gohan's face and shoves him back into his seat.

"Sup, ladies?" Sharpner grins. "Want to watch me chug this unopened can of beer I found on the floor?"

Videl and Erasa look at eachother, then shrug. "I guess. Not like we have anything better to do."

Sharpner snaps open the can and begins chugging it down like a mad man, devouring the whole thing within seconds.

"Hell yeah, that's what I call a fucking beverage!" Sharpner belches loudly.

"That's so gross Sharpner!" The two girls laugh at loud along with the rest of the students. Gohan simmers in anger.

"Grr, god damn that Sharpner, always one-upping me!" Gohan slaps his knee.

Willy finds another unopened can of beer on the ground. "Here, Gohan, why don't try doing it faster than him?"

Gohan takes the can from him, pondering. "Hmm. Willy, that might just be an excellent idea."

Gohan stands up on his seat. "Hey everyone, you thought that was cool?" He shouts out. "Well watch THIS shit!" Gohan opens the can and begins downing the liquid like an enraged alcoholic. He manages to chug it pretty fast, topping Sharpner's time.

The bus begins to chant. "Wow that was incredible, Gohan is so cool now."

Unfortunately, Gohan had never drank alcohol is his entire life, and he could feel the beer coming back up. He felt dizzy and queasy and began to stumble over. Everyone began to move away from Gohan as his face turned green.

"Oh, shit..." Gohan clenches his stomach. "I'm gonna... ergh...blow..." Gohan mumbled, and then began projective vomiting all over the bus floor.

"Now what in the god damn **FUCK**!?" The bus driver slams the brakes, putting the bus to a screeching halt. He turns around to see the mess Gohan made. "You little shit!"

Everyone begins laughing as Gohan lays unconscious beside the pool of vomit and empty beer cans.

"Oh my _god_ , it smells worse than my dad's jockstrap, jesus!" Videl shudders in disgust.

The bus driver collapses to his knees. "My... my home... what have you done?"

Gohan begins to wake up, the after taste of the vomit fresh in his mouth. "Oh god... what happened?" He looks forward to the huge puddle of vomit he created.

"You little bastard!" The driver begins yelling in Gohan's face. "Fuck a field trip, I hope you're ready to clean this shit all day!"

Mr. Punani wakes up from his nap, rubbing his eyes. "Huh? Wha now?" He looks around the bus groggily. "What in the world?" Mr. Punani sees Gohan and the giant vomit puddle. "Christ almighty, it smells like a coathanger abortion in this bus!"

Gohan can hardly contain his embarrassment, he stands back up and tries to apologize. "I'm so sorry, sir, I really didn't mean to do this!"

Videl begins to gag. "Ugh, Mr. Punani, can we _please_ get the fuck off this bus? I'm going to throw up too if I have to spend another minute in here."

"Alright, kiddies, everyone off the bus right now." Mr. Punani announces and the students begin to burst through the bus doors.

"Finally! Fresh air!" The students shout out.

Gohan steps out last, his face burning red.

"Alright, now, everybody. Since we're in walking distance of the old Arena we're gonna have to continue the rest of the way on foot." Mr. Punani tells the class, who groan and complain in response.

Sharpner throws an empty beer can at Gohan. "Wow thanks a lot Faghan, now I have to walk in my brand new Timbs." He walks up to Gohan, grabbing him by his collar. "If I get even _one_ spec of dirt on these, I'm gonna make you lick it up, fuck head." Sharpner shoves Gohan to the ground and walks off with the rest of the class.

Willy helps Gohan get back up. "It's okay, Gohan, we could all use a little exercise anyways."

Gohan dusts himself off, sighing in disappointment. "I can't believe I humiliated myself in front of Videl again."

Willy scratches his head. "Really? Because you do that literally everyday."

Gohan growls. "Shut the fuck up, Willy." The two continue walking forward.

...

The class arrives at what's left of the Cell Arena, taking a tour as Mr. Punani explains the history.

"And this, class, is where Mr. Satan finally killed Cell after a tough battle!" Mr. Punani points to a giant hole.

The whole class looks in awe. "Wow, Mr. Satan is so cool, I wish he was _my_ dad."

Gohan starts to chuckle. "Um, Mr. Punani? That's actually not what happened."

The whole class looks at Gohan confused. "Excuse you?" Videl glares at him.

"Didn't you guys watch the TV broadcast? It was those mysterious warriors who defeated Cell, not Mr. Satan!" Gohan explains.

"Now, now, Gohan, those were just magicians!" Mr. Punani says. "They were hired by Spike TV to entertain the audience, they didn't actually fight Cell."

"Look, I'm telling you, it wasn't magic!" Gohan exclaims. "These people really defeated Cell, Mr. Satan didn't even stand a chance!"

Videl shoots an intense glare at Gohan. "What the hell are you talking about, Gohan?"

Everyone starts to crowd around Gohan, asking him what he knows about the Cell Games.

"What the hell do you know about the fight, Faghan?" Sharpner butts in. "Not like your pansy ass was there that day." The whole class laughs.

Gohan sighs, knowing he can't reveal the truth. "Fine, but I actually WATCHED the footage, and I know it wasn't Mr. Satan that killed him!" Gohan turns over to Videl, who looks about ready to punch him. "No disrespect to your dad, of course..."

"Alright, now that's enough, Gohan, you're quite the conspiracy theorist." Mr. Punani looks at his watch. "We only have ten more minutes before the staff figures out we have an expired admittance pass, so let's check out the memorial section before we go."

"What the hell is your problem, Gohan?" Videl shoves him. "Who do you think you are trying to discredit _my_ dad?"

"Look, Videl, I was just..." Gohan tries to tell her.

"If it weren't for my dad, your stupid ass wouldn't even be _alive_ to spout that dumb shit you're saying." Videl gets right up into his grill.

 _Damn, she smells nice._ Gohan tries to calm her down. "I know your father is a strong guy, but it's just not true, you see Cell was a monster with powers you couldn't even imagine."

Videl pushes him off. "Go make a Youtube video about it, jerkoff." She marches off with the rest of the class.

"Don't forget your tinfoil hat, either, Faghan!" Sharpner laughs and walks off with her.

...

The field trip finally ended after security chased Mr. Punani and the students off the premises. The bus driver kicked Gohan off of the bus after the incident, so Gohan was forced to walk home in humiliation. Luckily for him, he was able to just fly instead. He soared through the air, angry and disappointed with himself.

"What a shit packed day today has been." Gohan mumbles. "Oh yeah I almost forgot, I have to drop off that gay shit at Bulma's house."

Gohan high tails it over to Bulma's and knocks on her door.

"Oh, Gohan! So nice to see you again." Bulma greets him with a hug. She's wearing a pretty slutty outfit.

"Damn, what's up Bulma? You going on a date or something?" Gohan asks.

"Nope, I just had some business down at the lab. Have to dress to impress, Gohan!" Bulma winks. "What brings you here, anyway? Are you and Trunks having another secret 'trade' again?"

Gohan tenses up ."Er, no! My mom wanted me to deliver this to you." Gohan pulls out the prescription bottle from his bag.

"Ah, your mom didn't like it, eh?" Bulma rubs her noggin, and heads inside. "I got _just_ what she needs then! Come on in, Gohan." She leaves the door open for him.

Gohan waits inside the living room, he can her Vegeta screaming from his training room.

"Jesus, is that all this guy does all day?" Gohan mumbles to himself. "I wish I had a wife that just didn't give a shit."

"Alright, Gohan, tell your mother to try some of this shit." Bulma tosses another prescription bottle. "That's the kind of weed that literally takes you into outer space." She grins proudly. "I engineered that one myself."

"Pot?" Gohan sighs. "First alcohol, now you're making my mom a pothead? You'd think someone as rich and smart as you wouldn't be a terrible influence."

Bulma sits next to him, pushing her giant tits next to his face. "Oh come on, kid, haven't you ever sparked up before? If you want to try, I hid a bong in Trunks' room." She says with a sly smile.

Gohan stared at her tits and decided it was totally worth it. "Alright, but if my mom catches me, I get to pin the blame on you."

Bulma giggles and grabs Gohan's hand. "Auntie Bulma will take full responsibilty!"

For some reason it only made Gohan harder when she called herself his aunt. It was at this point Gohan knew he had to quit watching porn.

And so Gohan spent the rest of that day faded as fuck, and ended up spending the whole night humping a sculpted rock he thought was Bulma somewhere out in the mountains. Stay tuned for the next chapter of TOSHSM, where Gohan faces one of his toughest days yet! The Beginning of the End!


	6. Shit Swirly: Gohan's Last Straw

**Hey everyone! First of all, thanks for all the kind reviews you've given me so far. Second of all, sorry for the delay on the chapters, I've been busy with some other stuff this past week. I'm glad you're all enjoying Gohan's tale through high school. I hope you're prepared for the next series of chapters, this is where things get a little dark! Also, I want to give a big shout out to the guest reviewer who left the same review like five times. You're doing God's work, and you inspire me to keep on writing! Thanks a lot, man.**

 **One more thing, if you've been reading and you haven't left a review,** _ **please**_ **leave one and let me know what you think! I'd love to hear your thoughts and what could be done to improve the fanfiction. If you're enjoying the story, please share it with your friends! Once again, thanks to everyone for reading!**

...

It has now been a few months since Gohan started school at Orange Star High. Before he started, Gohan was a normal, bright and eager teen, ready to take on the world with a closed fist. However, since facing the troubles of high school, Gohan has fallen into a depression and his anxiety levels are higher than ever before. He's been listening to Linkin Park and cutting his wrists almost daily. He had no idea school would be this difficult for him, especially being the one who defeated the vicious monster Cell. The bullying and harassment he received at school was Gohan's ultimate weakness, being a sensitive boy and all. No matter what he did, he could not find acceptance among his peers at Orange Star High.

Gohan was already awake this morning, having been up for a few hours, restless, thinking about how he had to drag through another day of school. He put on his Beats headphones and started listening to some nu-metal to take the edge off. He was in a nice, relaxing zone until Goten came bursting through the door.

"Hey big bro, wanna teach me how to fly when you get home from school?" Goten asks with a big wide smile.

"Wanna teach yourself how to knock on the fucking door?" Gohan glares at him. "I could've been jerking off in here."

Goten rolls his eyes. "I could hear Chester Bennington's voice all the way from the bathroom. You've been listening to that shit for like 3 months straight, when are you going to see a therapist?"

Gohan angrily takes off his Beats. "I don't _need_ to see a therapist, alright? I'm listening to them ironically!"

"Yeah, whatever," Goten chuckles. "Oh yeah, mom said to get your ass in the kitchen."

Gohan heads over into the kitchen where Chichi is reading a letter from the school.

"If this is about another weird statement on your credit card bill, I swear to god it was Goten trying to buy coins again." Gohan tells her.

Chi-chi turns around and begins yelling at Gohan. "Crystal **METH**!?" She grabs Gohan by his neck. "What the _fuck_ is wrong with you, Gohan!?" Chichi starts slapping the shit out of him.

"Ah, fuck, cut it out, mom!" Gohan yells. "Geez, they finally notified you about that? I thought they'd forget..." He sighs.

Chichi slams her fist on the table. "God damn it, Gohan!" She yells, as tears start to form in her eyes. "I thought I raised you better than this."

"Look, mom, just chill the fuck out, alright?" Gohan puts his hands up defensively. "I'm not doing meth, it's a really long story..."

Chi-chi runs up to Gohan and tries to lift up his sleeves. "Let me see those needle marks! Right now!" Gohan tries to stop her but it's too late. All of Gohan's cut marks are visible on his wrist. Chi-chi gasps in horror.

"Cut marks... trench coats in spring... spiked hair... Linkin Park..." Chichi begins to cry. "God damn it, my son is a fucking faggot!"

Gohan sighs. "Mom, chill, I don't think you took your meds this morn-"

Chi-chi slaps Gohan right across the face. "No, that's enough, Gohan! It's 2017, for God's sake, it's not 2001!" She grabs Gohan's wrist. "This right here... this just isn't right, Gohan!"

"Look mom, you don't understand how hard my life is!" Gohan yells, tearing up. "I can't take this school shit anymore! One more bad day and, who knows, I might turn that shit into ground zero."

"Alright, that's it!" Chi-chi exclaims. "I'm getting you to see a therapist. I won't let you become a fuckup like the rest of your family!"

Gohan stomps his foot. "A therapist? Man, fuck that shit!" Gohan runs into his room and grabs his backpack. "This is bullshit, the only therapy I need is Korn." Gohan heads out the front door. "I'm out of this joint. Peace."

Chi-chi continues yelling at him as he flies off. Gohan sighed in frustration, he really didn't want to believe anything was wrong with him, even though he knew deep down things were not all right with him. As Gohan was flying to school, he realized that he hadn't showered in a whole week.

"Fuck..." he mumbled. He knew today was going to be a rough day.

...

A school assembly was taking place as Gohan arrived at school. All the students were called into the gymnasium for the announcement. Gohan meets with Willy in the back of the crowd, who winces back in disgust once he gets a whiff of Gohan.

"Geez Gohan, you smell like a used condom, what gives?" Willy asks.

"Cram it! I forgot to shower all week." Gohan sighs.

"Well, I got some Axe bodyspray you can use." Willy pulls out the can from his bag. "I think it might be the last spray though."

Gohan snatches it from him and sprays the rest of the can on himself.

"Hopefully this lasts me a while..." Gohan sighs in relief. "Thanks Willy."

Willy winks at Gohan in a very homosexual manner. "You're welcome, _friend."_

The students begin to silence as the assembly begins.

"Now as you may have heard, Mr. Freddie Mercury was recently arrested on multiple different rape charges," says Mr. Snapper, the Orange Star High principal. "And, unfortunately, that means he will not be coming back." The students begin whispering among themselves.

"Ever." Mr. Snapper finishes. The students begin cheering and applauding.

"Thank god, that guy was suuuuch a creep." Videl says. "I'm pretty sure he was the one who kept jacking off in my gym shorts."

"Actually, that was me." Willy whispers over to Gohan, winking, and putting a finger over his lips.

"Now settle down, you little rascals!" Mr. Snapper shouts at the gleeful students. "That means all PE classes will be ending until we can find a replacement teacher."

Sharpner jumps up in anger. "What!? Now that's some fucking Kidz Bop bullshit, Mr. Snapper!" All the jocks in the school begin rising up and protesting against the principal.

"Yeah! We demand PE, or someone's car is getting keyed tonight!" One of the jocks warns.

After enough of the bickering, Mr. Snapper reaches under the podium and pulls out a 12 gage shotgun, firing a blast straight into the air. The school goes silent in fear.

"Now that's e-goddamn-nough." He begins pacing across the floor, pointing his gun at different students. "You only have yourselves to blame for this travesty, one of you little pussy ass snitches reported Mr. Freddie Mercury. Because of you, the school is undergoing serious inspection and we could possibly get shut down. Ya'll want justice? Take it out on the snitch." He puts his shotgun back in the podium. "Class is dismissed. Get the fuck out of my sight."

All the students rush back into their classrooms, scared as fuck of Mr. Snapper.

"Alright, which one of you bitches snitched on Mr. Freddie Mercury?" Sharpner asks. "Was it you, Faghan?"

"No way!" Gohan responds. "You know how many 2pac albums I've listened to? There's no way I'd snitch on even a fly."

Sharpner growls and knees Gohan in his dragon balls. "I bet you only listened to the remixes, fag." He and his crew walk off laughing to their seats.

"Gr, fuck that guy." Gohan winces in pain, clenching his balls tightly.

"Well Gohan, at least we don't have to sit out on the bench during PE anymore." Willy says optimistically. "We can just study during PE now!" He leans into Gohan closely. "Or jerk off into Videl's gym shorts." He whispers, chuckling. "I know her locker number!"

Gohan sighs, wishing he had a real friend.

…

The bell rung, and it was time for 'PE'. However, since the Mr. Freddie Mercury was arrested, Mr. Punani had the students stay inside and watch Seinfeld with him instead.

"Man, I'm sick of this 90s bullshit," Sharpner complains. "I'm a 2000s kid, why can't we watch Youtube compilations or something?"

Sharpner glances over at Gohan, who is blasting Korn alone in the corner of the class over his Beats headphones.

"Speaking of 90s bullshit, what kind of dumb shit is Gohan playing tod- oh my GOD!" Sharpner reels back as the intense aroma of Gohan hits his nostrils.

Gohan can't even hear him over the blaring sounds of Korn.

"Jesus christ, Faghan, you smell like the last shit I took!" Sharpner yells, and snatches off Gohan's Beats.

Gohan glares up at him. "Hey, what's the big idea Sharpner, I'm _trying_ to enjoy some Korn." Gohan pauses for a second. "Er, ironically, of course..."

The rest of the students begin to crowd around to see what's going on, only to be hit with the intense smell.

"Oh my _god_ Gohan, you smell worse than the grease trap at Chic-Fil-A." Erasa covers her nose.

"What the hell, Gohan, you ever heard of a shower before?" Videl reels back. "I thought that awful smell was Willy shitting himself again."

"Hey! I have Crohn's disease, I can't help it." Willy pouts.

Gohan starts to redden like a tomato, he can't even form a sentence as the students stare at him in disgust.

Sharpner grabs Gohan by his collar and lifts his him in front of him. "Alright you little Jontron loving bitch, you wanna bring your gamer culture into _my_ school, huh? Let me show you what we do to nerds like you around here."

Sharpner whistles, and then stands up top of his desk. "It's time, everyone! We're going to peform the ancient high school ritual." Sharpner forms a large grin. "We're gonna give Gohan the _Shit Swirly_."

Gohan gasps in horror. "W-wait, please, no!" He cries.

The students begin dragging Gohan out of the classroom, as he cries out to Mr. Punani for help, but he's too engrossed in Seinfeld to pay attention to his surroundings.

"That Kramer just kills me everytime!" Mr. Punani chuckles heartily. "Shame about that stand up incident, though..."

"MR. PUUNNNAAANNII!" Gohan cries out as he's dragged through the class door.

The kids drag him into the bathroom where they continually shout 'Shit Swirly'. Sharpner bursts open one of the stalls.

"Alright, everyone, hope your lunches have settled in nicely." Sharpner grins, as he begins to undo his belt. "We're gonna give Gohan the biggest Shit Swirly in Orange Star history!" The students cheer as Gohan stares in horror, pleading and begging for mercy.

"I'll go first." Sharpner heads into the stall and begins taking a nasty loud shit. "I had leftover Taco Bell for lunch. You're gonna love the smell of this, Gohan!"

One by one, students begin to go into the stall and fill the toilet up to the brim with shit. Once it's completely filled, the students force Gohan into the stall.

"Oh man, I'm sorry Gohan, but this is so going on Twitter." Willy takes out his phone and begins recording, along with a bunch of other students. Sharpner grabs Gohan by his hair and holds his head in front of the shit-filled toilet.

Gohan's begins crying as he glances up at Sharpner with pleading eyes. "P-please, Sharpner, don't do this to me..."

Sharpner smiles. "You chose this fate, ever since you hit the subscribe button on Jontron's channel. This is your punishment."

Before Gohan can even say a word, Sharpner shoves Gohan's head into the shit, pushing him all the way to the bottom of the bowl, his entire head entrenched in shit and piss. All of the students begin taking photos and cheering as Gohan is given his Shit Swirly. Sharpner slams the toilet lid on Gohan's head and then flushes the toilet, as the water and shit begins to swirly around Gohan, getting it in his ears and hair, and even in his mouth as he tries to breathe. Gohan can feel his anger rising as he is humiliated.

"Time for your bath, Faghan!" Sharpner laughs as he continuously flushes the toilet while holding down Gohan's head inside. Gohan swells and swells with anger, he starts to scream inside the toilet bowl. Sharpner can feel shockwaves begin to emit from Gohan, and he begins stepping back.

"What the hell? I think the toilet is gonna blow!" The students begin to rush out of the restroom.

Gohan rises out of the toilet bowl, his face steaming with rage. "That's ENOUGH!" Gohan shouts, and his anger turns into raw energy, emitting a huge shockwave that completely blows up the stall and creates a huge hole in the wall in front of him, destroying what divided the boys and girls bathroom.

"That's it! I'm done with this shit!" Gohan screams, and bolts straight up, blasting a huge hole in the ceiling and next couple of levels up. He flies off in a rage, his last remaining bit of self esteem destroyed.

...

After flying around and beating the shit out of some giant fish, Gohan cooled off a little bit. He hadn't felt that angry for a very long time, and felt scared about what he could've done. He was chilling in a 7/11 parking lot, eating a steak and cheese taquito, thinking about what to do. Chi-chi probably already found out about him ditching school, and knew he was going to get chewed out when he got home. Gohan sighed and stared at his hands, and clenched his fists tightly. He felt his Saiyan side of him coming out, he really wanted to just murder all those kids then and there.

"So this is what those Columbine kids felt like..." Gohan tried to shake off the feeling. "Damn it, I feel myself slipping away."

Suddenly one of the 7/11 employees comes out of the store and approaches Gohan. "Um, excuse me, but if you're homeless, you really can't be just sitting here. We're getting customer complaints about a dead carcass."

"I'm not homeless, and I just bought this taquito, so I'm not loitering either."

"Yeah, but you smell like my mother's afterbirth, so if you don't mind, can you just beat it, kid? I don't want to have to call the cops on you."

Gohan sighs, and takes his bag and leaves.

"I really have to learn to control my anger." Gohan talks to himself. "Vegeta's a psychopath. Maybe he has some tips to calm himself down!" Gohan immediately zips over to the Capsule Corp.

"Gohan!" Trunks greets him excitedly, but when he gets too close, he's hit with the shit infused aroma. "Oh my god, you smell like my dad's training room!"

"Fuck off kid, where's your dad at?" Gohan asks him.

"Ew, you're not gonna try and fuck my dad, are you?"

"Cut the shit, Trunks, where's your deadbeat dad at?" Gohan yells at him.

"Who dragged in the fuck boy?" A husky, arrogant voice calls out. Vegeta walks from the kitchen, holding a giant mug with protein juice. He has a damp towel hanging over his shoulders. "You either just got ravaged by a group of fudge packers or you've had an intense training session, but considering how small and frail you look, I'm going to guess it's the former." Vegeta grins smugly.

Gohan clenches his fist. "Hey Vegeta, remember that time you got your ass beat by Cell and I had to save your fucking life?"

Vegeta marches up to Gohan, glaring straight into his eyes."You miss your daddy, Gohan? Allow me to reunite you two again."

"My god this is gay. I'm gonna go play Minecraft, try not to scream too loudly please." Trunks heads to his room.

Gohan rolls his eyes. "Look, I didn't come here to fight, Vegeta. I need your help."

"And why would I help the son of _Kakarot?"_ Vegeta shudders.

"Look, I know you fucked my mom a few years ago." Gohan reveals. "If you don't want my dad finding out, you better at least hear me out."

"Ha!" Vegeta mocks him. "And what do you expect Cuckarot to do to me from the _grave_ , you little shit stain?"

"We all know my dad is stronger than you and he's going to be revived again eventually anyways." Gohan shrugs. "That's just how this retarded series is written."

Vegeta snarls. "Blast. You little bastard, very well. What do you want from me?"

"Well, I've been going to high school and shit, and these kids are really pushing me over the edge." Gohan explains. "I just wanted to know what you do to, you know, relieve stress or whatever. These Korn and Linkin Park albums can only do so much."

Vegeta chuckles smugly. "Heh, you really want to know what I do? Alright son, come with me."

Trunks jumps out of his room in excitement. "Yay, where are we going daddy?"

"I wasn't talking to _you,_ " Vegeta says bitterly. "No son of mine plays Minecraft. Get out of my sight."

Trunks runs off back into his room, crying hysterically.

 _Jesus, this kid is probably going to end up killing himself._

Vegeta and Gohan fly off high into the sky.

…

"Um, Vegeta, how far are we going?" Gohan asks. "I don't like flying too far in random directions, I feel like I might eventually hit North Korean air-space and accidentally trigger World War 3."

"Quiet, child. We're almost here." Vegeta says sternly.

 _God communicating with this guy is like talking to a wall, are all pureblood Saiyans like this? I have the lamest fucking heritage._

Vegeta suddenly stops. "Here we are, Gohan. South Korea."

Gohan looks around frantically. "Are you sure this is the right Korea!?"

"Yes, take a look. It's the Nexon Arena." Vegeta points to a large esports stadium.

"What the hell?" Gohan looks at Vegeta confused. "I didn't know you were a gamer, Vegeta."

Vegeta glares at Gohan. "Imbecile! We're not here to play _games."_ He says as he charges an energy blast.

"We're here to, as you call it, relieve stress." Vegeta grins manically and fires the blast at the arena.

"Vegeta, what the hell!?" Gohan stops in front of him. "You're murdering innocent people!"

"That's the point!" Vegeta yells, smacking Gohan aside, and fires more ki blasts. "This is the impulse of a Saiyan, we must kill in order to keep ourselves sane."

"Vegeta, that's insane!" Gohan yells. "I can't believe I thought it was a good idea to take advice from you."

Vegeta grins. "Deny it all you want Gohan, but it's in your blood. You have that same bloodlust, and it's obvious you're beginning to feel the impulses."

Gohan looks into himself, realizing what Vegeta is saying is true. "T-that can't be…"

"I don't know what your whore of a mother was thinking sending you to school for." Vegeta scoffs. "There's no way a Saiyan can mingle with pathetic Earthlings. That's like mixing black and wh-"

"Okay, just stop." Gohan interrupts him. "I guess I get what you're saying." Gohan lowers his head down in shame.

"Don't be afraid to kill a few peasants, Gohan." Vegeta urges him.

"Why gamers, Vegeta?" Gohan asks him.

"Because this trend needs to die. Look at what it's done to my son!" Vegeta screams in anger, firing a volley of ki blasts at the stadium. "You know how much money I've spent on Minecraft DLC!?" Vegeta goes on a rampage as he completely levels the arena, killing thousands of innocent lives.

"Uh, alright… I'm just gonna go home now." Gohan backs away. "Thanks for the help."

Gohan flies back home, weighing down his newfound insight.

…

After arriving home, Gohan was chewed out by his mother, and she informed him that he has an official appointment with a therapist next week. Gohan pretty much told her to fuck off and went into his room and jacked off for a little bit. When he was finished, he thought more about what Vegeta said.

"I saved this world, and this is how everyone treats me?" Gohan clenches his Capri-Sun tightly in anger. "Why should I even let them live, then? Maybe Vegeta is right."

Goten bursts through the door. "Hey Gohan, mom is doing a camshow and told me to fuck off. Wanna play like, Tekken or something?"

"Not right now, Goten." Gohan opens up his laptop. "I have some important research to do." Gohan says, as he begins looking up the Columbine Massacre Wikipedia. It seems Gohan's mind was set. Stay tuned for the next chapter of TOSHSM.


	7. Bring Your Father to School Day

It had been about a month since the Shit Swirly ordeal that left Gohan's last shred of innocence shattered. Ever since that fateful day, Gohan had been meticulously planning his revenge on the students of Orange Star. He didn't want to just murder them mindlessly like Vegeta; Gohan wanted to make them _suffer_. Gohan learned a lot of valuable information while watching documentaries on mass murders for the past month, also growing a penchant for thick, black trenchcoats.

Unfortunately, thanks to Chichi's nagging and alcohol abuse, Gohan was forced to go to monthly school therapy sessions. Gohan had to keep it cool in order to not give anything away, but luckily for him all therapists are pretty much useless.

Gohan sat idly in the therapist's office, who was already 20 minutes late. He finally stumbles in, clearly hungover.

"Ah, Gohan, there's that smiling face!" Mr. Prozac greets him, and immediately downs a handful of pills.

"Shit, my head feels like a balloon full of dildos." He rubs his head as he takes a seat.

Gohan rolls his eyes. "All right doc, just give my prescription, scribble in a few bullshit notes, and let's call it a fuckin' day."

Mr. Prozac takes out his pill dispenser from his drawer, and pops another handful. "Now Gohan, you know that's not how it works. We gotta talk about your problems and such, help you out." He downs the pills with a swig of water. "God damn! That first bar of Xanax, Gohan. Makes me want to hit my wife!"

"I got nothin' to say..." Gohan folds his arm and scrunches his face.

"Nonsense. Have you been taking your medication, Gohan?" Mr. Prozac asks.

"Fuck no!" Gohan replies in disgust. "I never want to touch that shit again. You know how annoying it is to have to pop a Viagra every time I want to jack off?"

"Listen kid, I'm hopped up on so many pills my dick doesn't work at _all_ anymore." Mr. Prozac walks to his cabinet and downs another set of medication. "That's the price for happiness."

Gohan rolls his eyes.

Mr. Prozac pulls out a prescription note. "You just need some more dosage. I'm upping your medication." He tears it off and hands it to Gohan.

"This is some fucking Mike Pence conversion therapy bullshit." Gohan complains.

"That's life, kid. Now get the fuck out of my office, my dick only works 5 minutes after I take my first Xanny of the day."

Gohan angrily heads of the office and tears up the prescription note, tossing it in the garbage.

"Fuck the pharma industry."

As Gohan passes through the halls, he hears Lil Pump in the distance. "Oh shit."

Sharpner and his crew greet Gohan with a smug grin, blocking his path.

"What the fuck's up, Queerhan?" Sharpner bumps him in the chest. "Still going to therapy sessions like a little pansy bitch?" His crew bursts into laughter.

Gohan ignores them and tries to pass through.

"Nice trench coat, fag. Did you travel all the way back to 2002 to find it?" Sharpner chuckles, and shoves him aside into the lockers. Coincidentally enough, Gohan actually did use Bulma's time machine to get the trench coat from 2002.

"Fuck off, Sharpner..." Gohan mumbles.

"Seeya later, pussy!" Sharpner shouts as he walks off.

Gohan growls. "Fucking asshole... you'll be getting yours soon."

All of the sudden, Willy pops up out of nowhere. "Hey Gohan, why you talking to yourself?"

"Nothing Willy, just forget about it." Gohan brushes himself off and continues down the hall.

"Got out of therapy early, huh?" Willy smiles. "Just in time for lunch! You know they finally got that new Burger King installed in the cafeteria?"

"No way!" Gohan slams his backpack down on the floor. "If I had known that, I would've stole some of my mom's money."

Willy chuckles, and pulls out his Cars 3 wallet. "No worries, Gohan. I got you. Here." Willy hands him a crisp $10 bill.

"Thanks Willy, you're a real sport." Gohan smirks. "Quick, let's head to the cafeteria before the line gets too big!"

...

After Gohan blew a hole through the wall and ceiling at school, the Japanese government was forced to give Orange Star a nice hefty paycheck to pay for the damages. Luckily for them, it was well over what they needed, and in celebration, Mr. Snapper ordered the installation of a Burger King inside the school cafeteria, his personal favorite fast food restaurant. There was a big line as pretty much every student was eager to get their hands on a Whopper.

Gohan stood in between Willy and the huge, roided hall monitor that he met on his first day of school. Gohan's oversized trench coat took up a considerable space in the line.

"Hey fuckboy, you gonna at least give me a reach around before riding my ass?" The roided freak turns around, glaring at Gohan. "I swear, nobody has any respect for privacy nowadays!"

"Geez, sorry, dude..." Gohan backs up a little bit.

"Shut the FUCK up!" He screams at Gohan, then immediately tries to calm himself down, taking deep breaths. "Relax Terry, it's just the prednisone kicking in. Fuck, I need another dose..." Terry runs out of the cafeteria, his footsteps so strong they cause the room to shake.

"Man, what's his problem?" Gohan asks.

"Terry's a roidhead. One time he killed a group of students for messing with his syringes." Willy informs him.

"Jesus." Gohan shudders.

Gohan and Willy were almost next to order, until suddenly Sharpner and his crew showed up.

"Sorry boys, but fags order last." Sharpner and his friends shove Gohan and Willy and cut in front of them.

"What the fuck Sharpner, we've been waiting for ages!" Gohan steps back in front of him.

"Yeah, waiting _for_ me, fag. Now get the fuck out of my way." Sharpner shoves him and walks toward the register.

"Welcome to Burger King, how can I take your order." mumbles a very unenthusiastic Krillin, much to Gohan's surprise.

"What the fuck?" Gohan mutters in shock.

"You can start by taking my order with a smile, you little bald penis head looking motherfucker." Sharpner laughs. Krillin looks pissed off, but forces a smile.

"How can I take your order today, sir?" Krillin says a little more enthusiastically.

"Yeah, cool, let me get uhhh..." Sharpner stares at the menu. "Uhh.." This goes on for several minutes.

"Oh my god, hurry the fuck up and order already you metrosexual looking fuck!" Erasa screams at him from the line.

"Hey, shut the fuck up, bitch!" Sharpner shouts back at her. "Yeah, uh, give me a large Triple Whopper meal. And a Monster."

"This is fucking Burger King, not Carl's Jr." Krillin says in frustration. "We don't carry Monster."

"No Monster? That's some fuckin kids meal shit. Whatever, give me a cherry Coke, skin head."

Krillin growls in anger as he types in the order on the register. "Will that be all?"

"Yeah, and make sure that shit is fire grilled, or I'm gonna spit in my burger and say you did it." Sharpner grins.

Krillin sighs. "8.75."

Sharpner hands him the money. "Thanks, fag." and walks off.

"Can't believe I have to work a fucking day job." Krillin sighs. "Next." Gohan walks up to the register.

"Krillin? What the hell are you doing here?" Gohan asks.

"Huh?" Krillin looks at Gohan confused for a second. "Gohan, is that you? Wow, I didn't even recognize you!" His mood begins to lift a bit.

"Krillin, what are you _doing_ here?" Gohan inquires. "Since when the hell do you work a day job?"

"Well, I have a kid now you know, and let me tell you Gohan, kids aren't cheap." Krillin rubs his head. "And that greedy cunt Bulma won't throw me a bone and help me out, even though she literally has a networth higher than the Rothschilds. So 18 forced me to do this wage slave shit."

"Geez, that's a tough break. And at a high school no less." Gohan says empathetically.

"Yeah, well, if I can fight monsters, I can work a fast food job, it's no biggie." Krillin says. "Anyways, you look like you just when to a Linkin Park memorial concert, what's with the trench coat? Your dad really fucked up with you, huh?"

"It's just the fashion I like, god, why does everyone have to make such a big deal out of it!" Gohan cries out.

"Hey, no judgement here, pal." Krillin stifles in laughter.

"Sorry about that jerk before me, don't take that skin head comment too seriously."

"Huh? Oh, he wasn't wrong." Krillin quickly lifts up his shirt, a large swastika tattooed on his chest. "I've been reading about white nationalism for years."

"What the fuck, really?" Gohan is shocked.

Krillin chuckles. "What did you think I always shaved my head for?"

Gohan shrugs. "I don't know, I thought you were like, a monk or some Buddhist shit."

Krillin laughs. "Ah, ignorance truly is bliss."

"Hey faggots, can you two stop jerking each other off and make a fucking order already?" Erasa shouts again impatiently.

"Sorry!" Gohan shouts back. "Alright, uh, you guys still have the 10 nuggets for 1.50 right?"

"Yeah, that's still a thing." Krillin replies.

"Alright, just give me $10 of that. And a fuck ton of buffalo sauce, I haven't shit in days."

"You got it, buddy." Krillin hands him his receipt. "Nice seeing you again."

"Yeah!" Gohan gives him a fist bump. "Oh, and if you can, please rub your balls on that guy's Triple Whopper for me, will ya?"

Krillin winks. "I was already planning on it. Next!"

...

Today was bring your dad to school day, and since Gohan's real dad was dead, he had to settle for the guy who actually raised him, Piccolo. They planned to meet in front of the school, but since Piccolo was directionally retarded, it took him a while to find the place. Piccolo eventually arrived, in his traditional cape and turban, looking more pissed off than usual.

"Jesus christ Piccolo, how hard is it to use Google Maps?" Gohan complains.

"Look, I don't understand this Earth shit, Gohan, I'm a _Namekian_." Piccolo grumbles, getting a bunch of startled looks from passing by students. "You're lucky I even came here, your mom can be a real naggy bitch."

"Yeah, well, good grades are all she cares about, but that's not what's important." Gohan tells him. "I really want to impress Videl, so you better make me look cool, alright? Are you wearing the 2pac shirt I bought for you underneath that towel?" Gohan asks.

Piccolo pauses, feeling really embarrassed. "Yes..."

Gohan grins."Heh, good. Alright, we gotta head to class before it's too late!"

The two rush over, and as soon as they enter the room, the whole class stops and falls silent, staring at the tall green monster in front of them. Students and parents alike stare in fear and disgust as Piccolo steps forth.

"Ahem, erm..." Gohan tries to break the silence. "Hey everyone, this is my father... Piccolo."

"What the fuck..." A student mumbles.

"Jesus christ..." A parent says in shock.

"Wow, he really is from Iraq..." Another student says.

Gohan nudges Piccolo. "Father, can you say hi to everyone?"

Piccolo growls, but forces it out. "H-hi."

"Psh, nice turban, Mohammed." Sharpner blurts out. "You feeling sick or is that a Shrek cosplay?"

"He looks like a fucking alien, and I'm not talking about the illegal kind." Erasa says with disgust.

Veins pop out of Piccolo's head as he gets more and more pissed.

"Well, nice to meet you, er, Piccolo?" Mr. Punani greets him, extending his hand, but Piccolo just glares at him. "Oh right, handshakes are offensive in the middle east." He giggles nervously, and steps back. "Alright, well now that everyone is here, everyone please take a seat. Parents, you may sit in the front row as we call you up."

"Alright, be cool Piccolo." Gohan whispers to him, giving him a reassuring wink. Piccolo takes the open seat, which happens to be next to Mr. Satan.

"Colored folk..." Mr. Satan hisses at him.

"Alright now fellas, we'll have each parent come up and tell us a little bit about what you do! Who would like to go fi-" Before Mr. Punani can finish, Mr. Satan immediately springs up.

"That would be me!" He grins proudly, jumping to the front of the classroom.

Videl groans. "Oh god, please kill me."

Mr. Satan starts off by doing some really stupid fighting poses, and nearly trips a few times in the process. "A man who needs no introduction," he sings. "Hyuah!" He lifts his fists in the air. "You all know me as the one, the only, Mr. Satan, mayor of Satan City, and champion of the World Martial Arts Tournament! HUAH!" He pumps his fists yet again. The entire class tries not to burst out laughing.

"What a fucking queer..." Sharpner whispers to his buddy, chuckling. Videl punches him hard in the back of the head. "Shut the fuck up!"

"Yes, I am the great Mr. Satan. No flash photography, and autographs may be given after school." He grins proudly, and does some more poses, then heads back to his seat.

"Wow, what a performance!" Mr. Punani claps. "I'll be getting one of those autographs for sure! Alright, who's next?"

A tall, muscular, tattooed man in a biker jacket walks to the front of the class.

"My name's Rodney. I'm Sharpner's uncle." The man says in a husky, grated voice. "Sharpner's real dad left him when he was like 6 after he threw a baseball that popped his testicle."

Sharpner's face reddens. "W-what the fuck uncle Rodney, you didn't need to tell them that!"

"My hobbies? I like to do heroin, drink, fuck underage girls, and ride my bike." The whole crowd whispers to themselves. "Wow Sharpner's uncle is so cool."

"Man, Sharpner's uncle is hot." Erasa bites her lip. "I'm gonna ask for his number after class."

"I want to a take a ride on _his_ bike." Videl stares at him.

"Are you fucking serious?" Gohan looks around at the class. "People think _that_ junkie is cool?"

"Wow, interesting. Looks like you already got a lot of fangirls, like father like son they say!" Mr. Punani chuckles. "Alright, anyone else? How about the mysterious green man himself?"

Everyone looks over at Piccolo, who's been meditating for the past 10 minutes. Gohan throws a crumpled paper to snap him out of it.

"Hm?" Piccolo glares up at Mr. Punani.

"Come on up, Mr. Piccolo! We're all eager to hear your story."

"No." Piccolo says coldly then closes his eyes again.

Gohan throws another paper. "Dad!" he yells out.

Piccolo growls. "Fine." he gets up in front of the class, just staring blankly for a few moments.

"Whenever you're ready..." Mr. Punani scratches his moustache.

Gohan throws another paper at him. "Maybe you should open that paper and read off of it, dad..."

Piccolo stares at it for a moment in anger, then picks it up and opens it.

"My name is Piccolo. I am Gohan's father. I am from Syria and immigrated when I was a young adult. I work at Interscope Records and produce music with the likes of Dr. Dre and Kendrick Lamar." He recites off the paper.

"Now wait here an uno momento!" Mr. Satan interrupts. "Immigrant? Now you listen here, you collard green looking motherfucker, I passed an anti immigration law here decades ago." Mr. Satan gets up and stands imposingly in front of Piccolo. "Now in this city, we don't take too kindly to colored folk like you... so if that's some kind of makeup you got on, I suggest you take it off."

Piccolo glares at him further. Gohan panics and rushes in between the two.

"Now hold on, this is a big misunderstanding!" Gohan pleads. "My father is not an immigrant, he didn't mean to say that, alright?"

"Well if your so-called father _isn't_ an immigrant, he can produce the proper forms of identification, can't he?" Mr. Satan grins, stepping back in front of Piccolo. "So what's it gonna be, green boy?"

Piccolo readies his fist to knock Mr. Satan the fuck out, but Gohan holds him back, trying to diffuse the situation.

"Don't be ridiculous Mr. Satan sir, he has them at home!" Gohan cries out. "Let's just all be chill alright?"

Mr. Satan slams his fist on the table. "I don't believe it! Produce your identification or I'm throwing your green bean ass all the way back to Sy-OOOF!" Mr. Satan flies through the class wall, bursting through five classrooms before stopping. Gohan didn't even have time to react to Piccolo's fist before it hit him.

"Holy shit!" Students yell.

"That's the same shit Gohan did!"

"Gohan's family is a bunch of retard rage freaks!" They yell, and everyone runs out of the classroom in fear from Piccolo.

"No, wait! Please, he didn't mean to do that!" Gohan yells. Only Videl remains, and she's seething with anger.

"Who the fuck does this guy think he is, Gohan?" Videl walks up towards him, clenching her fists tightly. "You think you can humiliate my father and get away with it, you green turd?"

Piccolo grabs Videl by her neck, lifting her up, and prepares another fist.

"No, Piccolo, stop!" Gohan yells, and turns into a Super Saiyan. "That's enough, Piccolo!"

Piccolo lets her down, but then strikes her hard on her neck, causing her to go unconscious.

"Bitch was asking for it. I let her off easy."

"Piccolo, what the fuck!" Gohan screams. "I oughta kick your ass! You just had to ruin that shit, didn't you?"

"If it's over, I'll be heading back to Kami's now. I have more important things to do, like, you know, protect the fucking Earth."

"You're a real piece of shit, you know that, Piccolo?" Gohan turns back to his normal form and grabs his backpack. "One favor, and you have to fuck it up. Yamcha is more useful than you. I'm gonna be sure to let my mom know about this."

"Tell your mom she can suck my Namekian dick. That's the last favor I'm doing for that bitch."

"Namekians don't even have dicks!" Gohan screams.

Piccolo instant transmissions the fuck out of there, and Gohan flies home pissed.

Later that day, after school, Gohan wrote in his diary about his plans for revenge on Orange Star. He knew he was going to murder everyone, but was still pondering on whether he should kill himself or not after.

"Hmm, on one hand, if I do stay alive, everyone will probably look down on me and my dad will be super pissed... but on the other hand, suicide is really cool and it will get me more media attention as a troubled and tragic kid. People will sympathize with me more." Gohan said to himself. "Fuck it, suicide it is. Not like there's much to live for nowadays anyway."

But before Gohan took his plan into effect, there were still a few things he needed to do on Earth... stay tuned for the next chapter of TOSHSM (which will be out much sooner this time)!


	8. The Great Saiyaman (Retard Man)

The morning was gentle and quiet, until Chi-chi's grating voice pierced the calm air.

"GOHAN! GET YOUR ASS TO SCHOOL ALREADY!" she screams from the kitchen.

"God damn it mom, I'm trying to take a shit!" Gohan yells back as he desperately tries to pinch off a log.

Goten sneaks over and knocks on the door. "Hope you're not naked in there, Gohan!" He smirks, as he readies his polaroid camera. "Because it's HUMILIATE YOUR BITCH ASS OLDER BROTHER DAY!" Goten yells as he bursts open the door and snaps a picture of Gohan wiping his ass.

"Goten, what the fuck!" Gohan tries to cover up his privates, and accidentally drops another turd from his ass in the heat of the moment.

Goten continues snapping a few more photos. "Oh yeah baby, these are going viral on Twitter for sure!"

"God damn it Goten, I'm gonna kick your ass!" Gohan yells, waddling over to the door with his pants around his ankles.

"What are you dipshits doing in there!?" Chichi walks in from the kitchen. "Are you still here, Gohan!? I told you to get your ass to school!"

"But _mom_ , Goten took photos of me without my consent!" Gohan cries. "And he's laughing about it!"

"Guess what, I used to get groped by old men without my consent." Chichi pulls Gohan out of the bathroom and throws his backpack at him. "Now get the fuck to school before I dump your anime figures in the garbage disposal."

"This is bullshit!" Gohan yells and heads out the door, as Goten continues snickering.

...

"What a gay ass morning." Gohan mumbles to himself as he flies through the sky. "You know what? Fuck school. I'm taking the day off."

For the first time ever, Gohan decided to skip class. "I'm going to be dead soon anyways, might as well check a few items off my bucket list before I go."

There were a few things Gohan wanted to try that he never had the chance to yet. Gohan thought about what he wanted to do first while loitering around in a Wendy's parking lot.

"Well, I had Wendy's last week..." Gohan rubs his chin. "You know, I always wanted to be a super hero. I wonder if Bulma can hook me up with a cool outfit."

Gohan immediately floors it over to the Capsule Corp. As he approaches the entrance, Bulma is having a heated conversation with a few Jehova's Witnesses.

"For the last fucking time, this is a business address, and there's even a sign that says no soliciting!" Bulma yells at them.

"But Mrs. Briefs, we just want to make sure you know the word of Je-"

"Listen, I'm literally friends with demon kings, I don't think I'd be accepted in your stupid ass religion anyways," Bulma interrups them. "Now get the fuck off my property you cockroaches."

The Jehovah's Witnesses walk off without their morale barely intact, but they still try to approach Gohan.

"Yeah, no, fuck off." Gohan strolls pass them. "Hey Bulma, Vegeta's misanthropy finally rubbing off on you, huh?"

"Oh hey, Gohan!" Bulma gives him a flirty wink. "He has more than that rubbing off on me!" She giggles.

"Uh that... really wasn't the answer I was expecting." Gohan still gets a slight hard on for some reason.

"What can I do for ya, kid?" Bulma asks him as she lights up a cigarette. "Come on in, we're letting the cool air escape."

Gohan heads inside the building, it smells like cigarette smoke and really expensive perfume. "Are those Newports?"

"Gohan, I'm 38, not a 20 year old college student." Bulma responds sharply. "Don't ever imply that shit again."

"Right, my bad." Gohan nervously laughs, and suddenly begins thinking of the time he jerked off to a fantasy of Bulma giving him a blowjob, except his dick was an oversized cigarette.

"Now wait a second, it's a Thursday morning." Bulma suddenly realizes. "Aren't you, like, in high school now, kid?"

"Er, yeah, well, you know how we keep secrets between each other?" Gohan says.

"Oh yeah, like that time I didn't tell your mom I caught you stealing a pair of my panties?" She reminds him, taking another drag of her cigarette.

Gohan reddens up. "Yeah, yeah, but like, a little less fucked up this time. I'm skipping school, but I promise there's a good reason!"

"Like what?" Bulma asks him curiously.

Gohan pulls out his Samsung S5 and shows Bulma a news article. "Well, check this out."

"Jeez, a bank is being held up with multiple hostages?" Bulma takes a long drag. "So you're telling me you want to rob a bank?"

 _The fuck? I thought this bitch was a genius._ "No, Bulma," Gohan puts his phone back into his pocket. "What I'm saying is, I want to help them out and stop all the crimes going on around Satan City, but obviously I can't show off my powers in public, mom would kill me!"

Bulma just stares at him. "Well, um, you could always, ya know, not be a pussy."

Gohan rolls his eyes. "Look, can you just make me a super cool super hero outfit?"

Bulma laughs in his face. "So that's what you were getting at! Oh little Gohan, you sure are cute."

Gohan blushes. _Is she trying to fuck me?_

"Alright, Gohan." Bulma finishes her cigarette, tossing the butt into an ash tray. "I'll play into your little fantasy. What kind of look are you going for?"

"Gee, I didn't even think about it..." Gohan thinks for a second. "You ever heard of the band Slipknot?"

 _Oh my god this kid is a fucking loser._ "Uh, yeah... I'll cook you something right up, just give me a like a half hour." Bulma hurries over into her lab.

"Thanks Bulma, you're the best!" Gohan waves. "Welp, I wonder if Trunks is here."

Gohan wanders around the building, and can hear distant screaming from the training room. He takes a peek inside to see what's going on.

"WHAT DO YOU HATE!?" Vegeta screams at Trunks, striking him hard in the gut.

Trunks reels back. "Ergh... M-minecraft.." he gasps.

Vegeta strikes him again. "WHAT DO YOU LOVE!?"

"Ugh... Fighting and... hurting people and s-shit..." Trunks collapses on the floor.

"Heh, that's my boy." Vegeta kicks him in the gut another time for good measure.

Gohan quietly shuts the door. "Sometimes I'm glad my father is dead."

"Gohan, get your cute little ass over here!" Bulma calls out.

"Oh shit, that's me!" Gohan runs over to the lab. "Gee, that was quick."

"I have the fastest 3D printer in the whole world." Bulma giggles, and tosses Gohan a little capsule. "There ya go, sweetie, tell me what you think."

Gohan snaps it open and instantly transforms into the classic Great Saiyaman outfit.

"Wow Bulma, this is totally not what I asked for at all!" Gohan looks in awe at his costume. "But I fucking love it! Bandana, shades, holy shit I really feel like 'Pac right now." Gohan starts humming the Hail Mary beat.

"Uh yeah, it looks great on you." Bulma holds her mouth, trying not to laugh. "Gonna take a stroll through the city?"

"Hell yeah, I gotta save those hostages!" Gohan clenches his fists heroically. "Thanks again, Bulma!"

Bulma tries to stop Gohan but he's already blasting 2pac in through the bluetooth speakers in his helmet.

"Holy shit, that was a joke outfit." Bulma stares into the sky as Gohan flies off. "What a fucking moron." Bulma shrugs and goes back to doing nerd shit.

...

Gohan strolled through the air, feeling like a G in his Halloween costume, blasting 2pac like he was in an all white neighborhood.

"Now then, where's that bank at?" Gohan scans the city, suddenly seeing a large crowd surrounding a building. "Aha!"

The bank was surrounded by a swarm of people, including media, police, and the typical teenager livestreaming the even on Twitch. At the entrance of the bank stood a few large, muscular men guarding the door with rifles.

"Alright, no funny business and the none of these hostages will get they asses fucked, you get what I'm sayin' compadres?" says the leader of the three men.

"Please, my wife is in there!" one of the men in the crowd shout out.

"My husband is in there!" another man yells.

"Hah, fag!" the criminal laughs."As of right now, I'm the new mayor of Satan City, and gay marriage is officially illegal again!"

The crowd protests in anger. "Hey, you can't do that! Mr. Satan is the mayor of Satan City!" one mouthbreather shouts out.

"And this leads to the question: where is Mr. Satan?" A news correspondant speaks in front of a TV camera. "For hours now, Satan City Bank has been held up by a team of vicious criminals as they loot the city's money. Mr. Satan, nowhere to be found, is believed to still be recovering from a coma after being blasted through the walls of a high school by a mysterious illegal immigrant just one week ago. In the city's darkest hour, it seems there is no one to save us from these ruthless criminals. Even the cops are dumbfounded at this very situation."

The camera quickly cuts to earlier footage of the police trying to stop the situation. "So, uh... have any of you ever shot a gun before?" The Satan City sheriff asks his fellow officers, who shrug in confusion.

"Jesus christ, this is worse than I thought!" Gohan gasps. "I gotta do something, quick. Time to make my grand entrance!" He grins, and immediately flies to the entrance of the bank, facing the evil criminals head on.

 _Alright, Mr. Satan likes to do those gay poses, I bet the crowd will go nuts if I do some too!_ Gohan thinks to himself, smirking.

"Have no fear!" Gohan yells, and begins to do the most autistic looking fight poses imaginable. "Uh! Yeah! Anime! Gangsta Rap!" Gohan finishes up as the crowd stares in silence. "The GRRREEAAAT SAIYAAMANNN IS HEEEERE!"

The crowd and criminals stare at Gohan in a very painful silence.

"Alright, who's retard is that?" a man from the crowd calls out.

"This just in!" The news reporter speaks again to the TV camera. "It appears that a mentally disabled manchild has approached the criminals, and is trying to engage!"

The bank robber steps over to Gohan, pointing his gun towards him. "I don't got any sympathy for retards. Your parents fucked up by not aborting you, kid." He cocks his rifle. "Allow me to do the honors."

He quickly unloads the whole clip on Gohan as the crowd watches in horror, but their slow ass human eyes couldn't see that Gohan blocked every bullet with the tip of his finger.

"Pft, a Brooklyn city cop can shoot better than you." Gohan says smugly.

"What the fuck, this kid ate the whole clip!" The criminal throws his gun down in anger. "So that's the power of autism, eh? Well you can dodge the bullets, but let's see if you can dodge these fists!"

The robber sprints toward Gohan and lunges at him, but Gohan swiftly dodges the attack, swerving to the side. He knees the robber right in the gut, sending him to the ground.

"Oh fuck..." he grasps his stomach as he winces on the ground. "I can feel the Whopper Jr. I had earlier in my throat."

"Holy shit, that retarded kid just fucked that criminal up! He's gonna save the day!" The crowd cheers and applauds for the Great Saiyaman.

"Whopper Jr's are for pussies." Gohan walks toward the other two guarding the door. "You trying to throw up a Whopper Jr too?"

"We only eat at Subway." One of them responds, cracking his knuckles. "You don't think you can beat two of us can ya, kid?"

Gohan angrily clenches his fist. "I _hate_ Jared Fogle!" And dashes up to the two, quickly grabbing their skulls and smashing them together like a PB&J sandwich.

"Oh fuck, I think I'm gay now..." They both collapse unconscious on the ground.

"Heh, now time to save some hostages!" Gohan quickly rushes inside the bank, feeling more confident than ever as the crowd cheers him on.

"Incredible!" The newsman continues reporting. "It appears the mentally handicapped boy has accessed his retard strength and is using it to defeat the bank robbers! We may see a happy ending to this situation after all!"

The tied up hostages squirm and moan for help once Gohan enters the bank.

"Huh? What the fuck?" Another one of the criminals turns around to see the Great Saiyaman. "Yo, who let the McNugget buddies cosplayer in here?"

"Haha, that's some 90s shit, dawg!" His accomplice yells.

"Shut the fuck up." Gohan walks forward slowly. "Let the hostages go and I promise you won't shit blood tonight."

"Jokes on you pal, I get anal fissures like my ass was some wet paper." The smug bank robber responds, and quickly grabs one of the hostages, holding a gun right to her noggin. "Back the fuck up or I'll blow this bitch's brains out."

"P-please!" She cries out.

"Oh yeah?" Gohan lowers his head down, and puts two of his fingers on his forehead. "Not if I blast yours first." He instant transmissions behind the criminal and fires a key blast that literally blasts his head off, splattering his blood and brains all over the poor girl.

"Oh my god!" The rest of the robbers shout out in fear, and scramble out the exit. "Retreat! Retreat!"

"Heh, got 'em. Great Saiyaman saves the day!" Gohan does another gay pose. The hostages look fearfully at Gohan, now even more scared of him than the bank robbers.

"You're all safe, and get to live another day!" Gohan proudly exclaims. "Hm?" He notices the girl he saved shaking and staring into space, clearly traumatized by what Gohan just did. "Uh, you okay?"

She doesn't respond, and Gohan slowly begins to back out. "I might've fucked that up a bit..."

...

Outside the bank, the fleeing bank robbers were successfully arrested. As Gohan exited the building, he was met with enormous praise and applause, although everyone was yelling the name 'Retard Man' instead of Great Saiyaman.

"T-thank you all!" He responds to the crowd. Soon, media and news reporters begin to swarm him and people begin taking photographs. "Ah fuck, I hate bright flashes!" Gohan yells as he bolts off into the sky and flies away, but is blinded by the flash and crashes into a tree not too far off.

"Aw fuck, thank god I had this helmet to protect my head." He brushes the dirt off his outfit and suddenly hears an all too familiar voice.

"What the fuck?" Videl stares in shock at Gohan while sipping a Starbucks beverage. "Did you just fall from the sky or did someone lace my Frappucino with acid?"

"V-videl!?" Gohan jumps back as his heart rate rapidly increases. "S-shouldn't you be in school!?"

"School is for fucking losers." Videl takes a sip of her drink in really bitchy, upper class white girl sort of way. "Wait a sec, how did you know my name?"

Gohan remembered that he was in his Saiyaman outfit and she couldn't recognize him. "Oh, er, well, uh, who doesn't know you? I mean, Mr. Satan's daughter and all... hehe." Gohan rubs his neck awkwardly.

Videl takes another long sip of her drink. "Yeah, whatever." She walks up towards Gohan, closely examining his gay outfit. "What the fuck are you wearing, anyways? You look like a rejected Power Rangers villain."

"Heh, you say that like it's a bad thing." Gohan thinks about doing another pose but doesn't want to look gay.

"Cut the shit, fag, take the mask off and let me see who you are." Videl bluntly tells him.

"Sorry cutie, but I can't do that." Gohan tells her, feeling way more confident as they Saiyaman.

Videl swiftly kicks him right in the dick. "Say that to me again and I'll kick your ass so hard you'll miss sitting, motherfucker."

"Yo what the fuck, chill..." Gohan clenches his balls. "Look, you clearly don't get how superheroes work, I can't just reveal my identity to you."

Videl tries not to laugh."You, superhero? Don't make me laugh."

"You check Twitter in the last 20 minutes?" Gohan asks.

Videl feels her phone vibrate. "Shit." She checks, and sees Saiyaman trending after saving the hostages.

She growls at him in frustration. "Yeah, so what!? I could've saved them easily, my heart just wasn't in it today." She folds her arms.

"Just admit it Videl!" Gohan can't resist the urge to pose up again. "You were impressed by the Great Sai-ya-man! Hyuah!"

Videl chuckles, showing Gohan her phone. "Yeah, more like the Great Retard Man. I actually don't know which name is more humiliating."

Gohan lowers his head down in embarrassment.

"But you know what, I'll admit, it's kind of cute." Videl rolls her eyes. "I can't believe I just said that!"

Gohan blushes, feeling really good for the first time in months. "Y-you think I'm cute."

"Well, take that stupid helmet off and we'll see!" Videl tries to trick him.

Gohan turns around, really wishing he could. "I'm sorry, but I just can't."

"Ugh, whatever, fag." Videl takes another sip. "I saw you flying from the sky, so why don't you give me a ride to my house?"

"S-sure!" Gohan exclaims. "Um, so like, do I carry you or-"

Videl sighs. "No, weirdo, I don't want you groping me. I'll climb on your back." She hops on Gohan's back, and Gohan really hopes she doesn't notice his boner.

"Alright, hold on tight!" Gohan springs into the air flying pretty fast. Videl screeches in excitement, dumping her Starbucks on cars below her. Gohan felt pretty happy for once, he really wished he could have told Videl the truth, but knew he couldn't (mostly because he's a fucking pussy). He almost put off the entire school massacre until Videl uttered these words:

"So, uh, any crushes you got at your school? Sharpner? Willy?" Gohan pauses for a moment. "Gohan?"

Videl laughs uncontrollably. "Pft, yeah right. Sharpner's a try hard, Willy is a fucking weirdo, and Gohan is a loser. I wouldn't fuck with any of them. Especially Gohan. Fuck him and his weird ass dad. I swear, if I ever see that green piece of shit again, he's gonna _wish_ he never left the Middle East."

"Oh..." Gohan said in a low, disappointed voice. They finally arrived at Videl's mansion.

"Well thanks, fag-er, I mean, Retard Man." Videl laughs. "Just so you know, if we meet again, I'm definitely going to kick your ass. I really hate anybody who likes anime or video games. Anyway, seeya later!"

"Yeah, seeya..." Gohan mumbles, and flies off, crying on the way home.

...

Gohan finally arrived home, only to be greeted by a hysterical Goten.

"Holy shit, Gohan, you have to see this!" Goten points to the TV. "Some autistic nerd named _Retard Man_ saved a bank robbery and killed like two people."

Gohan sighs and heads for his room. "Fuck off, Goten."

"Oh come on, how can you not find that ironic." Goten continues cracking up.

With an important item off Gohan's bucket list, he didn't really have much to do besides try one last time to steal a pair of Bulma's used underwear, and immediately begin hitting up Trunks. Gohan was curious to see the reaction to Great Saiyaman at school, and wondered if there was a way to get Videl to take his virginity before the massacre.

Stay tuned for the next chapter of TOSHSM, where things take a dark turn.


End file.
